The Honeymooners (TV Series)

Ralph Kramden, Inc. (1956)

Jackie Gleason: Ralph Kramden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph Kramden : [to Norton]  I'm going to become a corporation. Do you know what a corporation is?

  Ed Norton : Yeah, I know what a corporation is. When a person or group of persons duly authorized to sell, distribute shares, become avowed with the intention of the stockholders grouping about together, with those shares, with the intention of selling the shares, comes to an evil interest there.

  Ralph Kramden : [pause]  How did you know that?

  Ed Norton : Ever heard of Merrill, Lynch, Pierce, Pierce and Bean?

  Ralph Kramden : Yes.

  Ed Norton : They got an office right outside a downtown sewer I work in.

• Ralph Kramden : Norton, let's face it, I'm a man with big ideas, and sooner or later, one of those ideas is going to catch on. And when they do, I'm going to be a big shot. And do you know what happens to people who become big shots?

  Ed Norton : Yeah, they forget their relatives.

• Mr. Carson : [reading the will]  To my nephew, Robert Hilliard Bradley, who by his gambling and philandering has shown himself to be utterly incapable of handling money, I leave the sum of one dollar, which undoubtedly will be promptly deposited with his bookmaker.

  Ralph Kramden : I hope you pick a winner with it.

• Ralph Kramden : [to Norton]  I don't know why a man of your age watches birds.

  Ed Norton : Why shouldn't I watch birds? They watch me, don't they?

  Ralph Kramden : The only bird that watches you, Norton, is a woodpecker.

• Ed Norton : Hey, what kind of peanut butter is that? Is that the crunchy kind?

  Ralph Kramden : Yes, it's the crunchy kind and I can prove it to you. When this jar hits your head, you'll hear a crunch.