The Honeymooners (TV Series)

TV or Not TV (1955)

Art Carney: Ed Norton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph Kramden : We'll flip a coin to see where the television set goes. Give me a coin.

  Ed Norton : [pulls out a coin from his pants pocket and hands it to Ralph] 

  Ralph Kramden : Alright. Uh, heads I win, tails you lose. Right?

  Ralph Kramden : [flips the coin] 

  Ralph Kramden : Tails, you lose. Now...

  Ed Norton : Wait a minute, wait a minute!

  Ralph Kramden : What's wrong?

  Ed Norton : I hope I don't insult you, Ralph, but would you mind giving me back my coin?

• [Norton recites the Captain Video Ranger pledge] 

  Norton : I, Edward Norton, Ranger Third Class in the Captain Video Ranger Academy, do solemnly pledge to obey my mommy and daddy, to be kind to dumb animals and old ladies in and out of space, not to tease my little brothers and sisters and to brush my teeth twice a day and drink milk after every meal.

• Ed Norton : [returning to television]  Official space helmet on, Captain Video!

• Ed Norton : [taking off his Captain Video helmet]  Official space helmet off, Captain Video, wherever you are!

• Ed Norton : Official space helmet on Captain Video!

• Ed Norton : That's right, Alice, when we flipped the coin, he won. He said before we flipped, he said "Heads I win, tails you lose". It was tails and I lost.

  Ralph Kramden : [Alice gives Ralph a stern look]  Don't look at me like that. I learned that trick from you. That's how we got married.

• Ralph Kramden : Get out! GET OUT!

  Ed Norton : If I go, that set goes with me.

  Ralph Kramden : That set goes over my dead body.

  Ed Norton : I couldn't get it out over your dead body. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?