The Honeymooners (TV Series)

The $99,000 Answer (1956)

Audrey Meadows: Alice Kramden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ralph : For the last time, Alice, I'm telling you, I'm going for the $99,000 question.

  Alice : For the last time, Ralph, I'll be very happy if you win the 600 bucks.

  Ralph : $600? Peanuts, peanuts! What am I gonna do with peanuts?

  Alice : Eat 'em, like any other elephant.

• Alice : Spell "antidisestablishmentarianism".

  Ralph : I'll spell it.

  [pauses apprehensively] 

  Ralph : I'll spell it!

  Alice : [waiting patiently]  Well? Go ahead.

  Ralph : I'll spell it!

  [agitated] 

  Ralph : I'll spell it when you give me $16,000 for spelling it!

  Alice : [sarcastically]  16,000 for spelling it? I'll give you 32,000 if you can SAY it!

• Alice Kramden : [to Norton]  Ed, I realize that I cannot talk to Ralph because he is stubborn and unreasonable, but I've always had great respect for your sense of fair play, and so I appeal to you. IT IS LATE. People would like to go to sleep. I think you should stop playing the piano. And I know that you will agree with me, Ed, because you have always been fair and considerate. You are a reasonable man.

  Ralph Kramden : Don't let her soft-soap you. Don't let her soft-soap you! You're just as unreasonable as I am. Play the piano!

  Alice Kramden : If you touch that piano again, I'll lose all my respect for you!

  Ralph Kramden : [threateningly]  Go ahead and *play*, Norton, if you don't wanna lose my friendship!

  Ed Norton : Well, I'm in a spot. If I play, I lose her respect; if I don't play, I lose your friendship.

  [anguished wail] 

  Ed Norton : Why, oh why was I blessed with this musical talent?

• Alice : [to Ralph]  Let's say you know all there is to know about popular songs. There's just one thing that you're overlooking, Ralph: You're going on a television show, a big television show. Millions of people are gonna be looking at you, and big money at stake. Why, you're liable to get nervous and forget what you do know. Any person can do that.

  Ralph : Are you kidding? I'm at my best when I'm under pressure.

  Alice : Oh, that's right, I forgot. You're always calm. You have to be, in the kind of work you do. You're a man who "brives a dus".

• Ralph : Yessir, this is the time I'm gonna get my pot of gold.

  Alice : Just go for the gold, you've already got the pot.

• Alice Kramden : Trixy was just here to say she saw you on the show.

  Ralph Kramden : She was? Well uh, what did she think of it?

  Alice Kramden : Well, she said you're the biggest thing on television.