The Honeymooners (TV Series)
The Golfer (1955)
Jackie Gleason: Ralph Kramden
Photos
Quotes
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Ralph : [after Alice has insulted his golf playing] How'd you like to go sailing over the clubhouse, huh, Alice?
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Ralph : [to Alice] I don't care if you've got any confidence, because I have enough confidence in me for the both of us!
Alice Kramden : You've got enough *everything* in you for the both of us.
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Ralph : [Alice had just criticized his playing golf] Now I know why people play golf! It's not 'cause they like this game! It's just to get away from their wives! That's why they play!
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Ralph Kramden : I can't learn to play golf in 2 days. It'd take me at least a week.
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Ed Norton : [reading from book about golf] "The golf swing: First, step up, plant your feet firmly on the ground, and address the ball."
Ralph : Wait a minute. What do they mean by "address the ball"?
Ed Norton : How should I know? That's what it says here.
Ralph : Well, read a little further. Maybe it explains it.
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[Alice returns home to catch Ralph swaying his hips as he tries to play golf]
Ralph : Just practicing playing golf.
Alice Kramden : Oh, is that what it is? I thought it was football, the way your backfield was in motion.
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Ed Norton : [Alice criticized Ralph's golf-playing] You're getting all tense again.
Ralph : I'm getting all tense!
Ed Norton : Listen, relaxation is essential to a good game of golf.
Ralph : I can't relax! She upsets me!
Ed Norton : Well, you gotta relax!
Ralph : Well, I AM relaxed! What do you want me to do, sign an affidavit with a notary republic or somethin'?
