How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Belly Full of Turkey (2005)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted : [together with Robin sees Barney among the volunteers at a Thanksgiving shelter dinner for the homeless]  Barney!

  Barney : Hi, guys!

  Ted : What are you doing here?

  Barney : Just the Lord's work.

  Ted : But you're Satan!

  Barney : Guys! Ok. Look. I don't advertise it but I volunteered here. I think it's important to help the less fortunate. I'm the Angelina Jolie of incredibly hot guys.

• Barney : So, wait, not only have you not done any good for anyone today, you're actually helping someone steal from the homeless. You know, Ted, it's called Thanksgiving, not Thankstaking. Damn.

• Ted : Hey, Barn, what do you say you let us step in for your scoop stuffing for a little bit?

  Barney : Ha! You wanna scoop stuff on your first day out?

  [mimes holding a phone to his ear with his hand] 

  Barney : "Hello, NFL, can I be quarterback this Sunday?" Dude.

• [about having to do community service after being caught urinating in public] 

  Barney : I was unfarely punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church.

  Ted : You peed on a church?

  Barney : I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see, because I was drunk!

  Ted : [happily]  You *are* evil!

  Robin : All is right with the world again.

• Barney : Okay, Ted. I found a way for you to help someone, to do some good. This is Walter. Walter is homeless. And Walter would like a lap dance.

  Ted : Are you joking?

  Barney : I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.

• Barney : The Thankstini. A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.

  Marshall : [Drinks]  It's like Thanksgiving in my mouth.

• Ted : Barney's got his own Thanksgiving tradition.

  Barney : Thanksgiving in a strip club, who's in? The Lusty Leopard has a surprisingly good Thanksgiving buffet. Plus, they do this thing. Heather dresses up as a pilgrim and Misty dresses up as an Indian, and they "share a meal".

  Lily : Oh, Barney.

  Lily : I'm sorry, Native American.

• Barney : Man, it's amazing out there. I've done so much good today, I've got like a soul boner.

  [Ted and Robin stare at him] 

  Barney : And the way the faces of the less fortunate light up when you give them a hot, nutritious meal, is there a better feeling on earth?

  Robin : Yesterday you said the best feeling on earth was getting your toes sucked. Then you requested a high-five with your foot.