How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Drumroll, Please (2006)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted : [Wondering if he should go into the bakery to meet Victoria]  And to our dying day, we will remember everything about that night as perfect. Maybe we both need that. So many things go wrong in life, but this is the one thing that never will. It'll always, always be pure, unadulterated awesome. If I walk in there, I'm robbing both of us of what could be...

  Barney Stinson : The meter's running, dude! Crap or get off the pot.

• Barney Stinson : [about the bridesmaid he hooked up with]  And here's the most amazing part. Because I told her I converted all my money to India dollars, she gave me fifty bucks to take a cab to the airport. That's right, I just got paid for sex.

  [Barney takes a 50-dollar bill out of his pocket] 

  Barney Stinson : I really should give this money to the Peace Corps. They've done so much for me lately.

• Barney Stinson : Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment, you know why? Because I'm gonna say it and this time you're actually gonna say yes, you ready? Ready to say yes? Ted, suit up!

  Ted : Yes!

  [starts to leave, Barney laughs, Ted quickly comes back] 

  Ted : No.

  Barney Stinson : [frustrated]  Oh, come on!

• Victoria : [Her and Ted have decided not to to tell each other their real names]  You can call me "Buttercup".

  Ted : Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm... Lando Calrissian... Wow, this is kind of exciting; our names will forever be shrouded in...

  Barney Stinson : [Coming up to them]  Ted! Ted! Ted! Look, I got a bridesmaid! Ted! Look, look, Ted! The second-hottest bridesmaid! Ted, look! See-ya, Ted.

• Tanya : Wow, the Peace Corps?

  Barney Stinson : Yeah, I ship out tomorrow for two years. You know, some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing a person can do. To those people, I say, "Is it?" And usually they say, "yes it is."

• Barney Stinson : This better be good, I'm about to enter nirvana. By the way, I should give you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say what?

  Masseuse : [Kicks him]  Barney!

  Barney Stinson : Ow. I know the house rules. Es un chiste.