- Marshall: Maybe she was a ghost. That's why she didn't want to kiss you because you past right through her and get really cold for a second. Oh my God, I just had a great idea for a screenplay.
- Ted: Marshall, she was not a ghost.
- Marshall: I know she wasn't a ghost. She picked up a bouquet proving she had corporeal form.
- Ted: [Wondering if he should go into the bakery to meet Victoria] And to our dying day, we will remember everything about that night as perfect. Maybe we both need that. So many things go wrong in life, but this is the one thing that never will. It'll always, always be pure, unadulterated awesome. If I walk in there, I'm robbing both of us of what could be...
- Barney Stinson: The meter's running, dude! Crap or get off the pot.
- Barney Stinson: [about the bridesmaid he hooked up with] And here's the most amazing part. Because I told her I converted all my money to India dollars, she gave me fifty bucks to take a cab to the airport. That's right, I just got paid for sex.
- [Barney takes a 50-dollar bill out of his pocket]
- Barney Stinson: I really should give this money to the Peace Corps. They've done so much for me lately.
- Claudia: Ted, I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier. My new husband, and a vodka cranberry, which costs $10.50 at the freakin' airport bar -when is this plane going to board?- have helped me realize, that sometimes I can act like a crazy person.
- Barney Stinson: Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment, you know why? Because I'm gonna say it and this time you're actually gonna say yes, you ready? Ready to say yes? Ted, suit up!
- Ted: Yes!
- [starts to leave, Barney laughs, Ted quickly comes back]
- Ted: No.
- Barney Stinson: [frustrated] Oh, come on!
- Victoria: [Her and Ted have decided not to to tell each other their real names] You can call me "Buttercup".
- Ted: Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm... Lando Calrissian... Wow, this is kind of exciting; our names will forever be shrouded in...
- Barney Stinson: [Coming up to them] Ted! Ted! Ted! Look, I got a bridesmaid! Ted! Look, look, Ted! The second-hottest bridesmaid! Ted, look! See-ya, Ted.
- Tanya: Wow, the Peace Corps?
- Barney Stinson: Yeah, I ship out tomorrow for two years. You know, some people say the Peace Corps is the most noble thing a person can do. To those people, I say, "Is it?" And usually they say, "yes it is."
- Ted: [On the phone] Hey, Claudia, great wedding, beautiful toast, touching stuff. How's the honeymoon? Listen, I'm calling because last night I met this girl and I was wondering if you had...
- Claudia: Oh, you have got to be freakin' kidding me.
- Stuart: Oh, here we go.
- Claudia: 24 hours ago, you were begging, begging me to bring some other girl to my wedding, and now, what, you're over her?
- Ted: [Meekly] I've moved on.
- Barney Stinson: This better be good, I'm about to enter nirvana. By the way, I should give you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say what?
- Masseuse: [Kicks him] Barney!
- Barney Stinson: Ow. I know the house rules. Es un chiste.
- [to Marshall, Ted explains that he and Victoria didn't have a first kiss because the lead-up to it, i.e. the drum roll, is the best part]
- Marshall: A drum roll? That's it? So what? You just... You said good night, came home, and performed a drum solo?