- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Kid puts an arrow in a corpse. That's a new one.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Just a variation.
- [Tony chuckles]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I remember we found this old guy. Died watching TV. We found him sitting in the La-Z-Boy, stiff as a board, with a Bud in his hand.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Oh, please. Not another Baltimore homicide story.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Looks like a natural death, but we got to wait for the M.E. to confirm it, right? So, it's dinnertime. My partner and I are starving, so we tell the beat rookie to keep an eye on the stiff. Rookie's never been alone with a body. Well, suddenly, the body goes out of rigor, slumps. The air trapped in the lungs is forced through the voice box, and the corpse *moans*.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Stop it!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Rookie freaks, empties his service revolver into the body.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You know what I think, DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Don't say it's an urban myth, man, 'cause I was there.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I think... you were the rookie.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [dryly] That's funny, Gibbs. Funny. Wrong, but funny.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [flirting with Vivian while performing an autopsy] You sure you won't have dinner with me tonight, Viv?
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Oh, Ducky, you're disgusting!
- Dr. Donald Mallard: The pursuit of sex is an affirmation of life, Vivian. That's why older men are so lascivious.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: I'm talking about your lack of respect for the dead.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: I have the utmost respect for the dead.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Well, that's obvious from the way you speak to them.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: If you were dead, wouldn't it be nice if you were spoken to, rather than about?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, we're going to let the Admiral play the good cop... for about seven minutes.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: So, what makes you think that I would be involved in any other way than professionally with Lt. Singer?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're more comfortable asking questions than you are answering them, huh?
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess I'm not used to being a suspect.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Suspect? Who said you were a suspect? Have I read you your Article 31 rights?
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: No, you haven't. Which means you're playing a very risky game, Gunny.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I'm not smart enough to play risky games with a lawyer of your caliber, Rabb.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: That's "Commander Rabb." Or "Commander," or "Sir." *Gunny*. I believe, as a reservist, you're still technically in the Marine Corps.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I am an NCIS Special Agent, and I don't have to salute you, or "sir" you, or give you any military courtesy. But you know that. So who's playing the games here?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Agent Blackadder reminds me of a young woman I autopsied once.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [asking about their current victim] When'd she die?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Oh, gosh! Oh, that was in Hollywood. Let's see, it's got to be at least twenty years ago. She was an assistant film editor, and the film editor's wife caught them in flagrante delicto.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [indicating the dead body] This one, Ducky. When did this one die?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: It's been a while.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You care to be more specific?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Not until I do the autopsy.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Humor me.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: NCIS has discovered the remains of an unidentified JAG lieutenant in Potomac Park. Medical examiner estimates she's between four and five months pregnant.
- Lt. Harriet Sims: Oh, my Lord, sir, I hope it's not Lieutenant Singer.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it can't be Lieutenant Singer. She's due in two weeks.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Have you been in contact with the lieutenant?
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, I... Uh, no, sir. Not since she left three months ago. I was, uh... estimating.
- Lt. Col. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm's right, sir. It couldn't be Loren. I mean the medical examiner wouldn't mis-estimate by four months.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He hasn't conducted the autopsy yet. I assume the body's somewhat decomposed.
- [knock on door]
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Enter.
- P.O. Jason Tiner: Excuse me, Admiral. I tried Lieutenant Singer's San Diego number and her cell phone, sir. Both have been disconnected, Admiral.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Thank you, Tiner.
- P.O. Jason Tiner: Aye, aye, sir.
- [Tiner exits]
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Well, that doesn't look good.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, you're not writing her off, are you, sir?
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: You know, Commander, I may not personally know all seven hundred and fifty JAG officers under my command, but I damn sure would know if one was missing for three weeks.
- [after NCIS captures Amad bin Atwa]
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Amad bin Atwa supplied money and explosives to Hasan Mohammed, who executed the attack on the Cole. They're an Al-Jihad team that's been together for nine years. If bin Atwa gives up Hasan, I want in on the kill.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: We're not tasked with capturing Hasan Mohammed.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Gibbs, my brother died on the Cole.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I know that.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Then get me in on this!
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You're not here to use NCIS as your personal instrument of revenge. You get your head around this murder case, or you pull your tailored suit out of mothballs and you march your butt right back to the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Am I clear, Agent Blackadder?
- [Vivian doesn't respond]
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Am. I. Clear?
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Very, sir.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I don't know who fathered Lieutenant Singer's baby, and I don't know who murdered her. So what else, Gibbs?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What'd your investigation show?
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Hey, you were there. The admiral ordered me to stay out of this.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Oh, I'm referring to the investigation you gave Commander Manetti to do on Lieutenant Singer's love life, prior to her deployment.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [in the observation room with Vivian] Oops.
- Special Agent Vivian Blackadder: Yeah, "oops" is right. Without reading him his rights, we're gonna lose all this stuff in court.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: No, no, no. We got this stuff, Viv. Gibbs is setting Rabb up.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, Colonel MacKenzie's investigation into Lieutenant Singer's pregnancy wasn't going well. Mac and I are old friends, I thought I'd help.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Reasonable answer.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Yeah, the truth usually is.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: So, you wouldn't mind giving us a DNA sample?
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: For what purpose?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Paternity test.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I didn't even *like* Lieutenant Singer!
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I wouldn't say that during a murder investigation.
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: [Being interrogated by Gibbs about Singer's murder, quoting President Clinton] I did not have sex with that woman.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That's not the best choice of words there, Lieutenant.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: How long you been doing this, Gibbs?
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: 19 years.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Can you tell somebody's lying by looking them in the eye.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I can.
- Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, look into mine. Ask me. Ask me!
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Would you kill for your brother?
- [processing the crime scene, Tony notices a pin on their vic's jacket]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey. She's a JAG.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [Blackadder is applying Vicks Vapor Rub under her nose to disguise the smell of the corpse]
- [to Blackadder]
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: All you're gonna smell is a dead gal with a chest cold.