Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)
Bringeth It On (2003)
Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi
Quotes
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Joan : Go Eagles, go eagles!/Go, go, go Eagles!/ We live to cheer/we're so sincere/unless you get in trouble/then we're out of here/It's such a royal pain when a friend gets arrested/How could I have known? How could I have guessed it?/It's not like she's my sister/whoops, is that my beeper?/Even if she were/am I my sister's keeper?/Sorry, gotta go/ Try-outs are today/Tell we'll think of her every time we say/ Go Eagles! Go Eagles!/ Go, go, go Eagles!/My name is Joan/this cheer is my own/so kiss my feathers/'cause this bird has flown.
[angrily mouths "thank you"]
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Joan : Well I can't do any stunts. No, no, and how about the jumps? So, so. So why am I here, well it's really odd, but I'm here to cheer on a mission from God. So put me in the game or leave me on the bench, so you can go to heaven and I'll get out of French.
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Adam : Oh, Jane, glad I caught you here. This is for good luck.
[Adam gives her a piece of art that looks like a cheerleader... Well, sort of]
Joan : Adam... Well, thank you, but I already tried out.
Adam : I missed it? No way, man.
Joan : Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay... Sorry, But thanks for the...
Adam : It's a cheerleader. You know, it's got the little hairy things.
Joan : Pompoms? Cool.
Adam : I can't believe I missed it, though. How'd it go?
Joan : Uh... well, ha ha. I can definitely say I'm not going to be a cheerleader.
Adam : Why not? They didn't like you?
Joan : Wow... I always thought you'd hate me if I was a cheerleader.
Adam : No way. Why?
Joan : 'Cause we're sub-defectives, and that would be like deserting the army or something.
Adam : Oh. No, I don't care if you're a cheerleader or sub-defective or whatever. I just like hanging out with you 'cause you're Jane.
Joan : Joan.
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Homeless Man God : Be not afraid, Joan.
Joan : Be not afraid? What's with that?
Homeless Man God : Sometimes I like to sound old-timey.
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Joan : Okay, now who took my phone?
Luke Girardi : Yeah, see? She's the one with the communication devices. Ask her.
Joan : Ask me what?
Kevin Girardi : Which girl at school got knocked up and left her baby in a dumpster.
Helen Girardi : Kevin.
Joan : And what makes you think I would know who it is?
Will : We're not saying that you do.
Helen Girardi : But if you heard anything at school...
Luke Girardi : Shouldn't there have been some sort of visual clue?
Kevin Girardi : Not if she's a fat chick.
Helen Girardi : Who are you people?
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Joan : I don't tell you about cheerleading, therefore I must be pregnant?
Helen Girardi : Nobody said anything...
Luke Girardi : Cheerleading?
Kevin Girardi : Who-who's pregnant?
Helen Girardi : No one's pregnant. Right?
Joan : [in disgust] Mom!
Kevin Girardi : Is Joan having sex?
Will : Could we get off this line of questioning, please?
Joan : This is why I don't tell you anything.
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Homeless Man God : Listen, I want you to try out for the cheerleaders.
Joan : You mean at school?
Homeless Man God : I'm not asking you to join the Laker Girls. Of course. You know, cheerleaders at high school.
Joan : Do, uh... do you realize that you're asking me to commit social suicide? Not only will I suck, which... which I will, but everybody will decide that I'm a pathetic fluffhead.
Homeless Man God : Tryouts are Monday.
Joan : Monday? I-I'm supposed to get this together by Monday? Should I provide my own pompoms? I don't even know what the school mascot is!
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Joan : Hey.
Brianna Matthews : Hey. My dad's inside getting papers. I'm switching to another school, because everyone thinks it'll be better that way.
Joan : Brianna, are you okay?
Brianna Matthews : You're the only one who's asked me that. You're the only one who's talked to me at all. CeCe and the others, they walked by like they didn't even see me. They did see me.
Brianna's Dad : [getting in the car] Say goodbye to your friend, honey.
Brianna Matthews : Bye.
Joan : It's gonna be okay.
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Will : How could you not tell me about this Brianna girl when I asked you straight out?
Joan : What are you talking about?
Will : Is it so important to be liked that you would protect someone who did this?
Joan : I didn't protect anyone! God. I can't believe you.
Will : I understand about wanting friends. I do.
Joan : It's not like that. Nobody knew anything.
Will : How could you not know? How could all these people in her life be so blind?
Joan : Oh, so now it's my fault?
Will : That's not what I'm saying.
Joan : Dad, if I knew anything, I would've told you.
Will : Every day, I see people doing stupid, destructive things and ruining their lives, all because nobody's watching out for them. I'm not gonna just stand by...
Joan : How did I become the criminal?
Will : I'm saying I don't want you to get so wrapped up in these girls that you don't see...
Joan : But I do see. I see all the same stuff you do every day at school. The drugs and the sex and people breaking the law and ruining their lives, only I'm not having sex, I'm not doing drugs, and I don't lie to my dad!
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Joan : Why are you hounding me? I'm doing the whole cheer thing. Isn't that what you wanted?
Sidewalk Vendor God : Cute how you think I want you to skip World History.
[handing her a stack of leaflets]
Sidewalk Vendor God : Here, help me hand these out.
Joan : Look, Brianna and CeCe don't just ask everybody to do these pre-tryout smoothies.
Sidewalk Vendor God : What is it with you people? I-I give you very simple instructions and boom, you're right back to false gods.
Joan : What are you talking about? I-I-I'm making friends.
Sidewalk Vendor God : You have friends.
Joan : Okay, different friends, okay?
Sidewalk Vendor God : You mean you're trying to be popular.
Joan : Same difference.
Sidewalk Vendor God : Not exactly. Don't miss any more World History. You're just in time for the Crusades.
Joan : Oh, okay, okay. Like it's really good for me to hear about people butchering people for a hundred years just because they believed in you.
Sidewalk Vendor God : That's not about faith. That's politics. It's sort of like the difference between friendship and popularity.
