Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Requiem for a Third Grade Ashtray (2004)

Mary Steenburgen: Helen Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan : I think I failed my chemistry exam.

  Helen Girardi : Aw. That's too bad.

  Joan : That's all you're gonna say?

  Helen Girardi : Well, one of the nice things about you getting older is that you're getting better at punishing yourself.

• Helen Girardi : One of the reasons that I have been so cranky lately is that I haven't been getting any sleep. I-I'm just so terrified about teaching, I just keep going over and over what I'm gonna say 'till 3:00 in the morning.

  Joan : I always thought once you were an adult, you just sort of... wake up with all the answers.

  Helen Girardi : Yeah, that would be nice. There's hardly ever any answers. Just... more questions.

• Joan : Hey, my turtle ashtray.

  Helen Girardi : Oh, I meant to ask you. Do you mind if I use some of this stuff for a class project?

  Joan : What do you mean "use"?

  Helen Girardi : Well, I need stuff that I can sort of break up and use the pieces.

  Joan : You want to smash my turtle ashtray?

  Helen Girardi : Honey, you made a lot of ashtrays, and this one has a broken head.

  Joan : [protectively]  You can't smash Archie.

• Will Girardi : All right, I'm making breakfast. Who's up for French toast?

  Helen Girardi : We don't have any milk.

  Joan : I got some last night.

  [seeing their looks of surprise] 

  Joan : What?

  Will Girardi : Oh, well, nothing. It's just a little surprising, you getting milk.

  Joan : It's not like it's a miracle.

  Helen Girardi : Kind of.