Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Something Wicked This Way Comes (2005)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan Girardi : So, you're all confident about the Physics final?

  Grace Polk : I don't study for finals. It's against the laws of anarchy.

  Adam Rove : How can there be laws of anarchy?

• Joan Girardi : It's a brilliant idea, hiding in plain sight.

  Ryan Hunter : I'm not hiding, Joan.

  Joan Girardi : I'm onto you.

  Ryan Hunter : Beyond what we've discussed?

  Joan Girardi : Beyond that. Like vandalism and arson.

  Ryan Hunter : You can't imagine how lonely I've been all these years, Joan. And frustrated knowing there had to someone out there with a similar experience, wondering who it was, and if we'd meet, and when we did, if that person would be a worthy opponent. I have to admit, I never pictured a sixteen year old girl.

  Joan Girardi : Seventeen. With a working knowledge of physics, not to mention a real bug up my ass about anyone who wants to hurt my friends.

  Ryan Hunter : The point is, I'm impressed. And I'm excited. I think this is gonna be a fair fight, don't you?

  Joan Girardi : I have a slight advantage. I have God on my side.

  Ryan Hunter : Mmm. So far, I have the cops, the newspaper, and the school board. He didn't stop any of that from happening. I think this is going to be the challenge of a lifetime.

• Judith Montgomery : Man, you're a deep sleeper. I thought you'd never wake up.

  Joan Girardi : [groaning]  Oh, I've had this dream before.

  Judith Montgomery : Look, I don't have much time. Let me do the talking.

  Joan Girardi : How do you not have much time? You're dead.

  Judith Montgomery : Whatever. That's your perspective.

• Joan Girardi : I swear I listened all year, I took notes, I-I got B's, but it's like I never even saw this stuff before.

  Luke Girardi : Physics is hard to retain. It's counterintuitive to the way we day-to-day see the world. I mean, we ignore the quantum and trust the Newtonian. It's habit.

  Grace Polk : I have no idea what you just said.

  Friedman : That's because men understand science better. They've done studies, Grace.

  [she and Glynis slap the back of his head] 

  Friedman : Ohh! Not you, you don't count.

• Grace Polk : Girardi, what's with the zombie look?

  Joan Girardi : I saw Rocky.

  Adam Rove : Wait, Rocky?

  Friedman : Dead Rocky?

  Grace Polk : Every year this time, she breaks down. It's like her warranty's up.

• Little Girl God : Matter is neither created nor destroyed.

  Joan Girardi : Okay, I've been studying physics. I get that part.

  Little Girl God : I know you understand it, but you have to believe it, because it's going to be on the other test, which is unlike any test you've ever had.

  Joan Girardi : No chance you could help me study for this one, maybe give me an advance copy?

  Little Girl God : Just start with the question.

  Joan Girardi : What question?

  Little Girl God : The one you asked the first time you saw me. Think about it.

  Joan Girardi : "Why me"?

  Little Girl God : That's the one.

• Joan Girardi : So, when did it all start for you?

  Ryan Hunter : Oh, I was fourteen. I was a lonely, emotional kid. And when my parents got divorced, I needed someone to talk to. So I made him up. And suddenly, he was real.

  Joan Girardi : You know why you were chosen and all that?

  Ryan Hunter : I don't really care.

  Joan Girardi : Where do you think it's leading? I mean, there must be some kind of big plan. Right? That's why we're meeting. It's all coming together.

  Ryan Hunter : Like I said, Joan, I just don't care.

  Joan Girardi : What do you mean?

  Ryan Hunter : Well, he's master of the universe, he created everything. I'm supposed to be impressed? With this universe? You do watch the news occasionally?

  Joan Girardi : Well, yeah, but...

  Ryan Hunter : If he were really that divine, not to mention smart and merciful, he would have scrapped the "free will" idea. We would have been like computers; intelligent, capable, infallible even, but not free.

  Joan Girardi : I don't get it.

  Ryan Hunter : We don't have to be bossed around by some love-starved egocentric deity. I didn't ask to be born, but now that I'm here, it's all up to me. I like it that way. My life is a gift? Okay, thanks. He can't ask for it back.

• [series last lines] 

  Joan Girardi : Okay, God, so what's the message here? Ryan is the adversary?

  Goth Kid God : I told you before, he's a connection.

  Joan Girardi : He's evil.

  Goth Kid God : Connections are mostly neutral, Joan. Ryan is human, and every human, by virtue of free will, has the choice of how to direct his actions for good or evil.

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, he's made it clear how he's directing his.

  Goth Kid God : He saved Adam. He got him a job.

  Joan Girardi : He trashed churches and burned down a synagogue.

  Goth Kid God : The universe is kinetic, Joan. Every day, you have to make a choice. Make it better or worse. Most people do a little bit of both. And there are those powerful enough to overbalance the scales on either end.

  Joan Girardi : So is this fancy talk for you expect me to save the world?

  Goth Kid God : Counterbalance is a better word.

  Joan Girardi : You want me to fight back?

  Goth Kid God : I expect you to fulfill your true nature, same as it ever was.

  Joan Girardi : I really don't think I'm up to this.

  Goth Kid God : I think you are, or else you wouldn't have met him.

  Joan Girardi : This... this is seriously going to cut into my normal high school routine.

  Goth Kid God : You never liked high school that much.

  Joan Girardi : If you want me to do this, I get it, but I can't do it alone. My own father doesn't believe me. My ex-boyfriend is siding with the Devil. I have no weapons. Other people who have fought back, you know, like, the other Joan, she had an army, okay? I don't have anything like that. I-I-I... where's my army?

  [God glances at her group of friends] 

  Joan Girardi : Yeah. So basically I'm on my own.

  Goth Kid God : You have everything you need, Joan.