Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Book of Questions (2004)

Becky Wahlstrom: Grace Polk

Quotes 

• Joan Girardi : [reading a flyer at school]  "In light of the tragic death of Judith Montgomery, grief counseling will be offered to all students by Stuart Dingle, MSW. And don't forget Friday is Spirit Day. Wear blue. Support the Eagles"? How lame is this?

  Grace Polk : Yeah. Like eagles are ever blue.

  Joan Girardi : I mean, grief counseling?

  Adam Rove : The school has to do it.

  Grace Polk : They're covering their asses in a litigious society. Someone could freak out and sue the school.

  Joan Girardi : Oh, and Dingle's gonna calm them down? That comb-over alone could trigger a mass suicide.

• Joan Girardi : Hey, Grace, um... if you want any help with your mitzvah thing...

  Grace Polk : [groaning in frustration]  Ugh! No! Just stay out of my face. It's enough of a nightmare as it is.

• Luke Girardi : So, what can I do?

  Grace Polk : Hmm?

  Luke Girardi : For your bat mitzvah.

  Grace Polk : Nothing. I... I just want it to come and go quickly, like Hoobastank.

• Joan Girardi : Is something wrong?

  Grace Polk : Yeah! You... you all wanna help. You think I can't get through this because of the blatant materialism of post-industrial society, which has totally corrupted the bat mitzvah experience beyond redemption.

  Joan Girardi : It seems like you might have a few issues...

  Grace Polk : I'm cool!

  Joan Girardi : Cool.

  Grace Polk : Cool.

  Joan Girardi : Do I need to say "cool" again, or are we finished?

  Grace Polk : No, we're finished.

  Joan Girardi : Cool. So what are you wearing?

  Grace Polk : A dress.

  Joan Girardi : [fighting the urge to laugh]  You're... wearing a dress?

  Grace Polk : Oh, nice smirk. Thanks for the help.

  Joan Girardi : I wasn't smirking.

  [stifling her laughter] 

  Joan Girardi : I was... I had to sneeze.

• Joan Girardi : Grace! Shalom! I've just been reading about bat mitzvahs! You must be so stoked.

  Grace Polk : [sarcastic]  Yeah, I'm tingling.

  The Other Sammy : Is anyone gonna buy anything?

  Grace Polk : That was rhetorical, right?

• Grace Polk : The whole concept of a dress is a sexist symbol of thousands of years of reducing women to fetish objects.

  Joan Girardi : This would look so hot on you!

  Grace Polk : Have you been listening at all?

  Joan Girardi : Yeah, yeah. Angry, angry, angry, society, angry, angry, politics.

• Grace Polk : The Jews have survived 5,000 years of persecution, but we're finally gonna get finished off by the Girardis.

• Grace Polk : You better tell the truth, or I'll cancel again.

  Joan Girardi : I told you, I will.

  Grace Polk : If I hear the word "adorable", I will go postal.

  Joan Girardi : Okay. Getting bored and crabby out here.

• Grace Polk : Oh, god, whoever invented pantyhose should be shot.

• Rabbi Polonski : My little girl in high heels?

  Grace Polk : Cry on the dress, dad, and they become lethal weapons.