- Kevin Liotta: I don't need much, just a kitchen, a bedroom, and a place for my karaoke machine. If I'm not singing, I'm not living.
- Maya Gallo: Why are you doing this to me?
- Nina Van Horn: Why does the sun shine? Why does the rain fall?
- Dennis Finch: What are you doing here?
- Nina Van Horn: Just reliving some memories.
- Dennis Finch: You didn't go to college.
- Nina Van Horn: I know, but two years ago I went out with a sophomore at Columbia. He spent all his cash money to buy me this bracelet, but then again, I taught him things you don't learn in school, unless you go to school in Bangkok.
- Nina Van Horn: [to herself] You are beautiful and you have zero percent body fat. You are beautiful and you have zero percent body fat...
- Jack Gallo: So, is this a great seat or what?
- Nina Van Horn: It fits like a glove. A fabulous ass glove.
- Dennis Finch: Do we have any corn on the cob?
- Kevin Liotta: No.
- Dennis Finch: Do we have any biscuits left?
- Kevin Liotta: We ate them all.
- Dennis Finch: Shoot. Looks like we're gonna have to throw chicken at people.
- Kevin Liotta: Living together is gonna be great.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah. Watch me hit that hooker with a drumstick.
- Danny: Who are you?
- Dennis Finch: I'm your roommate.
- Rob: He looks so old.
- Danny: What are you, thirty?
- Nina Van Horn: Closer to forty.
- Dennis Finch: You want to hang out at the quadrangle, or the newly renovated Driscoll Center?
- Danny: I don't think so.
- Nina Van Horn: They hate you.
- Dennis Finch: They don't hate me.
- Rob: You're mom's right. We hate you.
- Nina Van Horn: You're devious and selfish. Why haven't I dated you? Oh, that right. Because you're poor and tiny.