- Persky: Hello, sugar cookie.
- Tyra Banks: What did you call me?
- Persky: No, I meant...
- Tyra Banks: I am a person, not a little cheap piece of your eye candy! So to imply otherwise is an insult to my job, to me, and my gender!
- Persky: But I...
- Tyra Banks: You know what, you just need to get lost!
- [Pushes Persky away, notices the cookies on the desk]
- Tyra Banks: Mmm, sugar cookie.
- Persky: Hey, chicken.
- Red Finch: What did you call me? The term is post-traumatic stress syndrome, not chicken, or sissy, or little foo-foo firehouse Quimby!
- Persky: But I didn't mean...
- Red Finch: You think you're man enough to look in the eye of the orange beast? How dare you judge me? Who made you God?
- [pushes Persky away; notices fried chicken on counter]
- Red Finch: Hey, chicken.
- Maya Gallo: That's fried chicken. What are you doing?
- Jack Gallo: I've decided to take my new cholesterol medicine for a spin.
- Maya Gallo: But I thought your doctor to stay away from fatty food.
- Jack Gallo: My doctor says one thing, my butcher says another. Who are you going to believe?
- Maya Gallo: Don't you have a huge crush on her?
- Elliot DiMauro: Maya, I deal with supermodels on a daily basis, and I can assure you... that I love her so much it hurts!
- Dennis Finch: How come nobody told me?
- Red Finch: What do you mean? I E-mailed you from the fire house almost every day.
- Dennis Finch: I didn't get... Oh, you're Big Flamer. You know what, I always delete those.
- Red Finch: Copy rooms. Little dark spaces jammed with paper and chemicals and electricity. Why don't they just write "Kaboom" on the door?
- Dennis Finch: Hey, dad.
- Red Finch: What the hell are you doing here?
- Dennis Finch: Sure, we'll join you.
- Dennis Finch: Why are you two holding hands? Why are you wearing the same clothes as last night?
- Nina Van Horn: Before you jump to any conclusions, there's a perfectly good explanation. Your father and I had sex.
- Jack Gallo: Nina. What's that crazy, mixed-up broad up to now?
- Red Finch: We're dating.
- Jack Gallo: Good for you. She's the best.
- Red Finch: I know what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry anymore. Mr. Van Horn and I are through running around like a couple of crazy teenagers.
- Dennis Finch: Thank God.
- Nina Van Horn: That's right. We're getting married.
- Dennis Finch: What?
- Red Finch: Come on, Dennis. Give your stepmom a big hug.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, well, well. Red Finch back in town. Why didn't someone shout "man on the floor!"?
- Dennis Finch: Nina, get away from my dad!
- Nina Van Horn: Toodles.
- Red Finch: You want to know when was the last time me and you mother had relations?
- Dennis Finch: No, I don't.
- Red Finch: The day Johnny Carson said goodbye to America, your mother was a hot pool of need. We went at it like two rabbits.
- Dennis Finch: I was at home that night. We shared an afghan! Ugh!
- Elliot DiMauro: For God's sake, put that stun gun away before you kill someone.
- Jack Gallo: What makes you think I haven't already?
- Dennis Finch: He's not ready for someone like her. All his life my dad has only been with one woman. Nina's been with five.
- Dennis Finch: I can't believe you two... got together.
- Red Finch: Hey! One more crude comment like that and I'll throw you through a window.