Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Slamming Jack (2000)

George Segal: Jack Gallo

Quotes 

• Jack Gallo : You found these in his drawer?

  Jarod : Yes sir. Along with maps for a country called Finchatania. Apparently, everyone travels by water slide.

  Jack Gallo : Of course they do.

• Jack Gallo : No, I didn't want capers on my lox.

  Dennis Finch : Didn't want capers, did ya? You hear that, gang? Guy doesn't like capers! Well guess what? I just got a new caper scraper, and it's coming in handy the first day!

  [scrapes bagel on shoe] 

  Dennis Finch : There you go! Go ahead, you selfish, bloated son of a bitch! Eat up!

• Jack Gallo : [on phone]  Dennis, it's me, Jack. I want you to do something for me.

  Dennis Finch : Sure thing. Jack, do not make that midnight fridge run. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Pudding is not your friend. Pudding is...

  Jack Gallo : No. My clock broke and I need you to wake me up at 5:00 AM so I can go fishing.

  Dennis Finch : Why don't you call one of those wake-up call services?

  Jack Gallo : I just did.

• Stan : What happened, Jack? You and I used to be friends too. How did we drift appart? I mean, does wither of us even remember?

  Jack Gallo : My birthday. The Russian Tea Room. You sat down naked on my cake.

  Stan : I thought you were finished.