- Elliot DiMauro: So this is a gynecologist's office, uh? I always thought there'd be, I don't know, pictures of uteruses on the walls.
- Maya Gallo: There are.
- Elliot DiMauro: [sees them] Oh!
- Dennis Finch: I can't believe I talked to Jack like that. I can't think, I can't move...
- Elliot DiMauro: And yet you brought us to a strip club.
- Dennis Finch: Hey, I gotta eat, don't I?
- Nina Van Horn: Ah, the theater.
- Jack Gallo: You found these in his drawer?
- Jarod: Yes sir. Along with maps for a country called Finchatania. Apparently, everyone travels by water slide.
- Jack Gallo: Of course they do.
- Nina Van Horn: Don't be such a child. It's a clinical interaction between a woman and a medical professional trained to examine her padoodledoo.
- Jack Gallo: No, I didn't want capers on my lox.
- Dennis Finch: Didn't want capers, did ya? You hear that, gang? Guy doesn't like capers! Well guess what? I just got a new caper scraper, and it's coming in handy the first day!
- [scrapes bagel on shoe]
- Dennis Finch: There you go! Go ahead, you selfish, bloated son of a bitch! Eat up!
- Nina Van Horn: Finch, say nothing, do nothing.
- Dennis Finch: Oh, my God, is there a spider on me? Get it!
- Nina Van Horn: No, no, I mean about Jack. Act as if nothing happened, Jack will too. I assure you, he'll forget all about it.
- Dennis Finch: Nina, I yelled at the man, I screamed at his face.
- Nina Van Horn: So? I once set him on fire. I said nothing, and now here I am, dining out on the company credit card.
- Elliot DiMauro: Guess who has an office directly below us?
- Nina Van Horn: A tax attorney who refuses to give up his wife.
- Jack Gallo: [on phone] Dennis, it's me, Jack. I want you to do something for me.
- Dennis Finch: Sure thing. Jack, do not make that midnight fridge run. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Pudding is not your friend. Pudding is...
- Jack Gallo: No. My clock broke and I need you to wake me up at 5:00 AM so I can go fishing.
- Dennis Finch: Why don't you call one of those wake-up call services?
- Jack Gallo: I just did.
- Dennis Finch: Jack is ridiculous! "Clean my gutters." "Rotate my sofa cusions." "Smell my milk." Even I have my limits!
- Nina Van Horn: [as Jack enters] ... And that's why I love sex!
- Elliot DiMauro: [at the strip club] Oh, my God. I think... I think that's Maya's gynecologist.
- Dennis Finch: Hey, man. Your dollar, your fantasy.
- Stan: What happened, Jack? You and I used to be friends too. How did we drift appart? I mean, does wither of us even remember?
- Jack Gallo: My birthday. The Russian Tea Room. You sat down naked on my cake.
- Stan: I thought you were finished.