Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

Slow Donnie (1999)

Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro

Quotes 

• Jack : Hey, Donnie. I think I finally have these tubes figured out.

  Donnie DiMauro : [quietly]  Kill me now.

  Jack : See, it's hot air that pushes things through the tubes.

  Donnie DiMauro : Donnie says vacuum.

  Jack : Boy, when you get an idea in your head, you stick to it like taffy. See, when air gets hot, it rises.

  Donnie DiMauro : Vacuum!

  Jack : No, hot air. It's what causes a Pop-Tart to pop out of the toaster, or how helicopters...

  Donnie DiMauro : [normal voice]  Oh, for the love of God! It's not hot air! It's not magnets! It's a vacuum, Jacko! Like a straw! You ever use a straw, huh, lab partner? Air taken out from one end is replaced from the other end, that creates air pressure that propels things through the freaking tubes!

  [Notices everyone is looking] 

  Donnie DiMauro : [slow Donnie voice]  I love you, tubes.

  [everyone still stares] 

  Donnie DiMauro : Green quarter.

  [still staring] 

  Donnie DiMauro : Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!

  Elliot : Donnie, what the hell?

  Donnie DiMauro : [normal voice]  Oh, crap. Now I gotta get a job.

• Elliot : You'll have good food, good wine, it'll be like you're family. Just don't wear any makeup.

  Maya : Why not?

  Elliot : My mom will call you a whore.

• Donnie DiMauro : I'm Donnie with a D. Green quarter.

  Maya : What?

  Elliot : He likes it when people give him money.

  Maya : Oh, um... here.

  Donnie DiMauro : [throws away quarter]  Green quarter!

  Elliot : He likes paper money.