- Jack: Hey, Donnie. I think I finally have these tubes figured out.
- Donnie DiMauro: [quietly] Kill me now.
- Jack: See, it's hot air that pushes things through the tubes.
- Donnie DiMauro: Donnie says vacuum.
- Jack: Boy, when you get an idea in your head, you stick to it like taffy. See, when air gets hot, it rises.
- Donnie DiMauro: Vacuum!
- Jack: No, hot air. It's what causes a Pop-Tart to pop out of the toaster, or how helicopters...
- Donnie DiMauro: [normal voice] Oh, for the love of God! It's not hot air! It's not magnets! It's a vacuum, Jacko! Like a straw! You ever use a straw, huh, lab partner? Air taken out from one end is replaced from the other end, that creates air pressure that propels things through the freaking tubes!
- [Notices everyone is looking]
- Donnie DiMauro: [slow Donnie voice] I love you, tubes.
- [everyone still stares]
- Donnie DiMauro: Green quarter.
- [still staring]
- Donnie DiMauro: Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!
- Elliot: Donnie, what the hell?
- Donnie DiMauro: [normal voice] Oh, crap. Now I gotta get a job.
- Donnie DiMauro: Donnie has secret. Promise not to tell anybody?
- Maya: I promise.
- Donnie DiMauro: You swear? Cross your heart?
- Maya: Cross my heart.
- Donnie DiMauro: On a stalk of bible books?
- Maya: I swear.
- Donnie DiMauro: [normal voice] Okay, here's the thing. I'm not really slow. I just faked falling off that tree, and now they wait on me hand and foot. It is the sweetest scam in the world.
- Donnie DiMauro: Donnie wants a kiss.
- Maya: Oh, that's... sweet.
- Donnie DiMauro: Kissy?
- Maya: Oh, why not?
- [kisses Donnie on the cheek]
- Donnie DiMauro: No, Donnie want a kiss like on Showtime.
- Dennis: Careful. You're provoking the alpha male.
- Nina: You don't know what you're talking about.
- Dennis: Yes, I do. I used to date an ornithologist.
- Nina: That's the study of trees, right?
- Dennis: Umm... birds. Remember, we were just talking about birds?
- Nina: So what happened?
- Dennis: She dumped me 'cause all the other ornithologists were making fun of her for going out with a guy named Finch. Hurtful eggheads. Why couldn't they just let us be?
- Donnie DiMauro: I'm Donnie with a D. Green quarter.
- Maya: What?
- Elliot: He likes it when people give him money.
- Maya: Oh, um... here.
- Donnie DiMauro: [throws away quarter] Green quarter!
- Elliot: He likes paper money.
- Donnie DiMauro: Donnie want to climb tree!
- [quietly, to Maya]
- Donnie DiMauro: That's a metaphor. You're the tree.
- Donnie DiMauro: I love you, Ma.
- Rhoda DiMauro: You see? That makes it all worth while.
- Donnie DiMauro: I love you, table.
- Maya: Nice to meet you, Mrs. DiMauro.
- Rhoda DiMauro: Nice to meet you. Are you wearing rouge?
- Maya: No.
- Rhoda DiMauro: 'Cause it looks like you're wearing rouge.
- Maya: It's really cold outside, I swear!