Wendie Malick: Nina Van Horn

Quotes 

• Nina Van Horn : Just think, everyone thought I would wind up a man-chasing boozehound. Well, I showed them!

  [she leaves] 

  Elliot DiMauro : What, no comeback? That was a gimme.

  Dennis Finch : I don't go for cheap shots. Remember that, baldy.

• Elliot DiMauro : What the hell is going on?

  Maya Gallo : They canceled Nina Van Horn Day.

  Elliot DiMauro : What? Why?

  Maya Gallo : [crying]  Apparently one of my underground films from the '70s appeared in the Video Barn. Now they say I'm setting a bad example.

  Maya Gallo : Some close-minded people can be a little uptight about a little nudity.

  Nina Van Horn : ...and other stuff.

• Nina Van Horn : The mayor of Colby wants to name a silo after me. I don't know if it's grain or missile, but either way, it's really quite humbling.

• [Jack, Nina and Dennis are watching Elliot and Maya from the bar] 

  Jack Gallo : I think maybe we should actually leave.

  Nina Van Horn : Nonsense. Elliot and Maya would want us to stay.

  Dennis Finch : I can't see this magical moment.

  Nina Van Horn : Fine. Barkeep, bring us another phone book.

• Elliot DiMauro : Is there going to be a parade?

  Nina Van Horn : Yes. It's going up Main Street and down the other one.

• Nina Van Horn : Oh, Maya. You're like my cowardly scarecrow with the tin hat.