- [to Nina, in response to a stupid comment]
- Elliot DiMauro: Let me ask you something - when you tilt your head to the side, does it sound like a rain stick?
- Jack Gallo: Dennis, what's the name of that song I like?
- Dennis Finch: Theme from Shaft.
- Jack Gallo: That's it.
- Nina Van Horn: I'm back.
- Jack Gallo: Did you go somewhere?
- Nina Van Horn: A self-actualization seminar called Me First.
- Dennis Finch: Drama queen camp.
- Jack Gallo: Oh.
- Maya Gallo: Dennis, is my father ready to review articles.
- Dennis Finch: No. He's still with Hannah and that freaky nanny.
- Maya Gallo: I think April's nice.
- Dennis Finch: She keeps calling me Button.
- Maya Gallo: So?
- Dennis Finch: So? In the mean streets where I grew up, Button is what they used to call the weaker kids.
- Elliot DiMauro: You grew up in a nice suburb of Albany.
- Dennis Finch: In the baddest-ass cul-de-sac in all of Shady Brooks Estates. South of the golf course.
- Maya Gallo: Well, at least you made it out, man.
- Dennis Finch: Sometimes I think going back there, give something back. Maybe volunteering at the tennis club, maybe the marina.
- Dennis Finch: I'm Jack Gallo, and what I say goes! I'm the boss, and I'm a blabbering blabbity blah!
- Nina Van Horn: I went to this self-actualization seminar called Me First. It's very complicated, but basically they taught me that I am the center of the universe.
- Dennis Finch: What's next week, tall and skinny camp?
- Maya Gallo: Any other time I would, but I'm having my wisdom teeth pulled out.
- Jack Gallo: Didn't you had them taken out in college? I remember sending you a big check.
- Maya Gallo: Actually, I used that to cover a bad night at Vegas.
- Jack Gallo: Wow. Tell me what happened.
- Maya Gallo: Well, I was at the blackjack table and I split tens.
- Jack Gallo: [disappointed] Oh, Maya.
- Dennis Finch: [playing with Jack's sword] Dennis, this ancient sword was a present from Trump himself. Never use it. More salami?
- [slices salami with sword]
- April: I'm freaking out now! Here it comes!
- [squeaks feebly]
- Dennis Finch: That was it? Thank God. I was expecting you to...
- [April shrieks at the top of her lungs]
- Jack Gallo: What's going on?
- [April screams and runs off]
- Jack Gallo: Dennis?
- Dennis Finch: What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on. We live in a world where our privacy is taking a back seat to the ever watchful eye of Big Brother. Security cameras in our homes? What's next, bar codes on our heads? Shame on you, Jack Gallo. Shame on you and all the fascists chipping away at our personal freedoms.
- Jack Gallo: You schtupped my nanny, didn't you?
- Dennis Finch: Twice.
- April: I think we have everything. Your binky, your baa-baa, your moo-moo... Am I forgeting something?
- Dennis Finch: Uh, your adult vocabulary?
- Nina Van Horn: Don't worry. He couldn't run this place without you.
- Dennis Finch: Thanks.
- Nina Van Horn: No, I was talking to myself.
- Jack Gallo: Nina, did you finish that golf fashion layout?
- Nina Van Horn: Finished? I haven't even started.
- Jack Gallo: Any reason why?
- Nina Van Horn: Me and some of my Me First seminar buddies were out at the airport spreading the word.
- Jack Gallo: The word? Nina, is this seminar by any chance a cult?
- Nina Van Horn: Cult? Why is it that any belief system that strays from the norm is labeled a cult? That any leader that dares to speak a deeper truth is called a lunatic with a messiah complex, and his followers are just pawns.
- Jack Gallo: I'm sorry. I guess I just jumped to conclusions.
- Nina Van Horn: You should be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to sever all ties with my family.