L.A. Law (TV Series)

The Last Gasp (1990)

Jill Eikenberry: Ann Kelsey

Quotes 

• Ann Kelsey : You're not just suing for your money back, are you, Mr. Lewis? You're also claiming emotional distress.

  Jack Lewis : They lost to Tampa Bay. Twice.

  Ann Kelsey : You're tying up the court, a judge, a clerk, because you don't like the way a team played football?

  Jack Lewis : I spent money. And then watching their games cause me to have a blood pressure condition.

  Ann Kelsey : The Chicago Bears did this?

  Jack Lewis : Yeah. As a doctors, they did this. When they lied, saying they were good and set me up.

  Ann Kelsey : At the time those claims were made, they thought they were good.

  Jack Lewis : Baloney. They have lousy secondary, they could even...

  Ann Kelsey : The secondary was fine till Dan Hampton tore his knee apart, isn't that correct, sir?

  Jack Lewis : Dan Hampton is a lineman, lady, not a cornerback.

  Ann Kelsey : But with him out, the line couldn't mount a legitimate pass rush, which left the secondary overexposed.

  Jack Lewis : You can't blame it on the pass rush.

  Ann Kelsey : No. That's right. You can't blame it on the pass rush, what you can blame it on is unforeseeable injuries.

  Jack Lewis : They didn't lose anybody big.

  Ann Kelsey : They lost Donnell Woolford in the second game. Armstrong sprained his ankle against Tampa Bay. Morrissey suffered a lacerated kidney, and have them miss the whole season.

  Jack Lewis : Come on, they had all their big guys except for Hampton. The truth is, they considered it a rebuilding year. They traded McMahon for draft picks. They totally wrote of this year and they didn't tell us.

  Ann Kelsey : You're not a shareholder, Mr. Lewis, you are just a fan.

  Jack Lewis : I'm a Chicago Bears fan. You wanna screw with people? Go ahead. But you don't screw with the Chicago Bears fan. Not today, not ever.

• Ann Kelsey : As Head of the Chicago Bears Public Relations Staff, do you feel that you made false representations concerning your team's potential?

  Mark Johnson : No, of course not. We thought we had a legitimate shot at the Central Division, and without a few costly turnovers and key games, we would have made it.

  Ann Kelsey : Thank you, sir. I have nothing further.

  Mark Kumpel : 6 and 10, you stacked, didn't you?

  Mark Johnson : It was a disappointing season.

  Mark Kumpel : I have statements made by you to the press in August. "Man for man, this is a better team than the 85 club that won the Superbowl."

  Mark Johnson : I was a little optimistic.

  Mark Kumpel : Yes, what's interesting is what you said to the press after you lost to Cleveland on October 23rd. We always consider this a rebuilding year, you said that, didn't you?

  Mark Johnson : Yes, I did.

  Mark Kumpel : So you claim to have a team you can send to the Superbowl when in reality, you knew you had a team need of rebuilding?

  Mark Johnson : I call that a little wishful thinking, that's all.

  Mark Kumpel : I call that fraud.

• Ann Kelsey : I'm telling you, we've got a problem.

  Mark Johnson : You can't be serious.

  Ann Kelsey : We've got a shot at proving a false claim. What's more, if he gets a season ticket refund. If it's only be faced with 35,000 more claims from all your other fans.

  Mark Johnson : Are you telling me that this coop can win?

  Ann Kelsey : I'm telling you, we can't just laugh this away. I've got to put on a better defense here. I'm gonna have to call another witness.

  Mark Johnson : Who?

  Ann Kelsey : I don't know. Somebody who can convince the judge that this fix intense season wasn't foreseeable. What about this Ditka guy? Would he be able to do it?

  Mark Johnson : Mike Ditka?

  Ann Kelsey : He's the coach. Couldn't he talk about what went wrong?

  Mark Johnson : Oh, yeah, you can talk.

  Ann Kelsey : Fly him out here, I'm gonna put him on.

  Mark Johnson : You're gonna put Mike Ditka on the stand?

  Ann Kelsey : Have him in court by 10 in the morning, and tell him to wear a tie.