The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series)

Headwriter (1994)

Rip Torn: Arthur

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil : Anything else I need to know?

  Arthur : Network meeting tomorrow at 3. You might wanna bring your razor out of hiding, shave, bathe, shampoo, clean shirt and see if you can wear something that touch more conservative.

  Phil : Any suggestions?

  Arthur : Just stay away from usual attire, that's all. Hell, you look like you're a member of Peanuts gang, Linus with goatee.

• Arthur : You want Paula fired?

  Phil : Yes and I wanna watch while you do it.

• Arthur : A little late with Larry's melon, Beverly?

  Beverly Barnes : Oh I had to go and get a new one first, Arthur. I mean, I had it all cut up in little chunks the way he likes it then he came in today and said he wanted bald.

  Phil : I'd do it except I'm already dating someone. Sorry.

  Beverly Barnes : Thank you Phil.

• Phil : I want the job Arthur.

  Arthur : If you're talking about balling Larry's melon, forget it Phil. I didn't laugh the first time.

  Phil : I want to be a headwriter.

  Arthur : You're working on a gag here, right?

  Phil : No, I want the job and I think I deserve it.

  Arthur : You're serious?

  Phil : Yes.

  Arthur : Haha.

  Phil : C'mon Arthur. I know the show, I know what Larry likes, I know his rhythms.

  Arthur : I don't think it would work out, Phil.

  Phil : Why not?

  Paula : [suddenly appears]  I got him! I got Steve Martin for thursday finally.

  Arthur : Hey sweetie! Another knock show on your bucking belt. How did you manage that?

  Paula : Well, I charmed his ass and told him "Roxanne" was my favorite movie, inquired about his play...

  Phil : And you promised to blow him.

  Paula : Oh Phil, you know all my little tricks don't you?

  Arthur : Thanks, Paula. Thanks, Phil.

  Phil : Why wouldn't work?

  Arthur : Well, let's just say that I don't think you have the temperament for it.

  Phil : Now what does that mean?

  Arthur : Well it means, Phil, that you're a snide little prick. Not that we don't love that about you but what we're looking for in a headwriter is more experience, someone's more of a people person.

  Phil : I'm a people person!

  Arthur : That's true, in the last two minutes alone you offered to fuck Larry's melon and you accused Paula of promising to orally service a distinguished guest. Let's face it son, you're a born diplomat.