The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series)

The Roast (1997)

Wallace Langham: Phil

Quotes 

• Hank Kingsley : You can blow me like everyone else on table... at your table.

  Phil : Are you on something?

  Hank Kingsley : A little bit.

• Hank Kingsley : Shut up and leave me alone, Phil. I'll come when I'm goddamn ready!

  Phil : Larry is waiting.

• Phil : I thought Carl Reiner was hosting Larry's roast.

  Hank Kingsley : No, that's not confirmed. But if I can prove to Artie that I can handle hecklers, he'll let me be the roast master.

  Phil : Here's the deal: someone says something to you, all you gotta do is to come back with a dick-related insult, that's it.

  Hank Kingsley : Give me an example.

  Phil : Guy says something and you say: "Oh, looks like so-and-so got his dick out of his mouth loud enough to speak up".

  Hank Kingsley : [laughs]  By so-and-so you mean the person heckling?

  Phil : Yes.

  Hank Kingsley : I better write this down. Oh what if the uh the heckler is a woman?

  Phil : Same thing, you talk about her dick. Makes them crazy.