- Shirley Feeney: I'm stuck up here and I can't get down, come get me!
- Laverne DeFazio: Nobody ever got stuck on a rope!
- Shirley Feeney: Any woman that could run that obstacle course in 40 seconds would have to be a freak of nature.
- Laverne DeFazio: I just did it!
- Shirley Feeney: You were always great at those athletic things like running and jumping and scraping your knees. I was never good at that stuff.
- Laverne DeFazio: That's because you hated scabs.
- Shirley Feeney: I didn't hate them, my family didn't allow me to have them. I wanted to have scabs!
- Capt. Schmidt: I told you this was a bad idea, Schmidt, dames should stay barefoot and pregnant.
- Laverne DeFazio: Barefoot and pregnant huh?
- [hands him hers and Shirley's purses]
- Laverne DeFazio: I'll show you barefoot and pregnant!
- [runs the entire obstacle course in 37 seconds]