- Mrs. Cornelia Rayburn: Students, we have some very exciting news this morning. One of our young men, Theodore Cleaver, is going to appear on television.
- Gilbert Bates: [as the class murmurs in excitement] Hey, what show is he gonna be on? The Late, Late Monster Show?
- Mrs. Cornelia Rayburn: Ahhh, Mr. Bates, I think we can do without comments of that sort.
- Theodore Cleaver: Boy, Dad, you don't know what it's like to keep tellin' the truth, and nobody'll listen or believe ya.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, Beaver, if it's any consolation to you, the same thing's happened to an awful lot of people. Big people and little people. They tried to tell the truth, and others just wouldn't listen to them or believe them. But the important thing is, no matter if anyone believes you, you just keep on telling the truth.
- Theodore Cleaver: I'll tell you the truth right now, Dad: I'm never gonna get mixed up with television again!
- Gilbert Bates: I just hope you've got a good explanation for Mrs. Rayburn.
- The Beaver: Why is she mad at me?
- Gilbert Bates: Mad, she hasn't been this mad since Angela Valentine came to school in that Jackie Kennedy wig.