- June Cleaver: [Beaver hasn't done his book report and his library book is overdue] Beaver, haven't you read any of it?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, yeah. I read the whole first chapter. But it was so long ago, I don't remember it.
- Ward Cleaver: Yes, well, you just put that ball and glove away and get started on it right now.
- Theodore Cleaver: But, gee, Dad! It's a thick book! It'll take me at least two whole days to read it!
- Ward Cleaver: Well, you should have thought of that two weeks ago.
- Theodore Cleaver: I did. I guess that's why I didn't read it.
- June Cleaver: Why did you pick such a thick book?
- Theodore Cleaver: 'Cause I got to the library last and all the thin ones were taken.
- Wally Cleaver: [later] "The Three Musketeers" is a great book! Wait 'til you get into it! There's all kinds of fightin' and blood and everything!
- Theodore Cleaver: Yeah, but library books are no good for book reports.
- Wally Cleaver: What do you mean?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, on store-bought books they have covers and on the cover it tells what the story is all about.