- Sheriff Nabors: I'm betting Red Kruger is nowhere near here. But if he is, I'll eat my shirt.
- The Lone Ranger: Better make ya a new one, Sheriff.
- The Lone Ranger: You weren't frightened by a few Indians, were you?
- Barnaby Boggs: Of course not. I just remembered I ran out of tonic.
- Tonto: Me see plenty bottles in wagon.
- Barnaby Boggs: Yes, well that medicine had turned stale from the heat.
- Barnaby Boggs: Wait? For that wild two-gun killer? He oughta be behind bars.
- The Lone Ranger: If you go, he never will be.
- Barnaby Boggs: Well, live and let live, I always say.
- The Lone Ranger: You're the one man Kruger can't let live. He'll get you unless we get him first.
- Barnaby Boggs: Well, boys, I've been thinking it over. And, uh, I've decided to do my duty as a law-abiding citizen and remain here.
- [Tonto grabs some of Barnaby's tonic]
- Tonto: Me fix him.
- The Lone Ranger: Good idea. That should bring him to.
- Tonto: You open mouth.
- Barnaby Boggs: No, I don't want that stuff.
- Tonto: Him good stuff. Kill pain, he say.
- Barnaby Boggs: Oh, what are you trying to do, Indian? Poison me?
- The Lone Ranger: Hold on, Barnaby! I'm coming. Hold on.
- Barnaby Boggs: Hold on? What do you think I'm doing, taking a nap?