- Computer Jones: Bournemouth, say something.
- Bournemouth: What would you like me to say.
- Computer Jones: Well, anything!
- Bournemouth: [sighs] Hello! This is Computer Jones speaking, I'm 57, I live on my own, and I practise kissing on my labrador!
- Jack Morgan: [testing out the Memory Helmet] Pam Bachelor, will you please give us the titles of ALL of Shakespeare's plays, starting now.
- Pam Bachelor: The Noble Naysayer, Rupert II, The Whore & The Harriman, The Weary Wives Of Warwick, O'Reilly, The House At Bunplehurst, Rupert III, Cognumis & Grognumis, 'Twas A Merry Morn In Malta, Tit For Tat, Ian I, Ian II, Ian III Part I, Ian III Part II, Ian III Part III, Razzamatazz, Summer In Paris, Bessie's Revenge, Rupert IV, David's Diary, Knock Knock, Catherine & Casanova, Rupert V and Harlem Blues.
- Pam Bachelor: So I suppose you could fix your make-up, while you work?
- Patricia: Well yes you could!... although I don't wear make-up myself.