As Keith Kelly (
Don Most) boards a Valentine's Day cruise, he receives a nasty singing telegram, from Suzie Scott (
Claudia Lonow), telling him that his girlfriend has dumped him. So he misdirects his resentment toward the girlfriend at Suzie, and it only intensifies when she forgets to leave the ship before it sails. Magazine editor Liz Merritt (
Fannie Flagg) calls a temporary agency to recruit a secretary. The agency head Sam Corey (
Don Adams) visits the ship to tell her that they couldn't find anyone, then decides to pose as the secretary himself, despite the fact that he doesn't type and doesn't take dictation. Football star Duke Taylor (
John Amos), who has played in four Super Bowls and has written a juicy tell-all autobiography, begins a shipboard fling with schoolteacher Kate Langley (
Jayne Kennedy).
—Maisie Fleckum