M*A*S*H (TV Series)
House Arrest (1975)
McLean Stevenson: Lt. Col. Henry Blake
Photos
Quotes
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Henry Blake : Klinger! It's 4:00 in the afternoon, and you're still in a housecoat? Put on a dress! You never know who might be coming around!
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yes, sir!
Henry Blake : Boy, oh boy, oh boy! You gotta stay on top of these guys every minute!
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Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : [on the phone] Oh yeah? Well this is Col. Blake. I want that chopper here by 1600. And that's an order, Captain!
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Radar?
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Sir?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Since when have you been promoted to me?
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Frank Burns : I have got oak leaves on my shoulders.
Henry Blake : And I've got dimples on my butt.
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Henry Blake : Jiminy Crickets, Frank! Do you know what has to be done to court-martial somebody? I mean, the-the paperwork?
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : [Reading the regulation] "Pending the completion of the preliminary investigation by the C.O. the accused officer is relieved of duty and placed under house arrest." He can't leave his tent.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : You mean I just get to stay in and sleep and eat meals and read?
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Yes, sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [to Henry and Frank] Take me. I'm yours. I surrender. And I'll fight to the death any chance to set me free.
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Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : I specifically told Major Burns that a bar of soap on the floor can be very slippery.
Henry Blake : Frank says Pierce hit him.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Oh, no, no, Henry. When Frank fell on the soap, Hawkeye tried to break his fall.
Henry Blake : By jamming his fist in Frank's eye?
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Henry Blake : All right, now how did Frank get the black eye?
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : When he fell he hit the sink.
Henry Blake : Whammo!
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : Right!
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Should I write "whammo", sir?
Henry Blake : Uh, no, no, it doesn't sound too G.I. Make it...
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : ..."Socko".
Henry Blake : Uh, no, no. That's too Moon Mullins. Make it "Bam". Okay, so Frank slipped, fell, hit the sink.
Army Capt. "Trapper John" McIntyre : That's my testimony.
Henry Blake : Okeydokey.
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : [writes] "Okeydokey."
Henry Blake : No, strike the okeydokey. Make it, uh, "very well".
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : Very well.