Mapp & Lucia (TV Series)

Battle Stations (1985)

Geraldine McEwan: Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas, Queen Elizabeth I

Quotes 

• Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : No strawberry bed shall be manured today or any other day until the garden looks less like a tramp who hasn't shaved for a month.

• Miss Elizabeth Mapp : I'm sorry, dear one, but I cannot possibly permit it. The ragtag and bobtail of Tilling passing through my house, tramping on my flower-beds, ruining the carpets...

  Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : The price of admission will be half a crown, all the doors to the rooms will be locked, and I am sure nobody in Tilling would be so ill-bred as to force them open.

• Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : My dear, you can get another parlour-maid.

  Georgie Pillson : Well, if it comes to that, Cadman can get another wife!

• Georgie Pillson : To think I've left her five hundred pounds in my will. Now I shall have to add a codicil, "If still in my employ".

  Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : But after you're dead, Georgie, you won't miss the five hundred pounds.

• Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : I find it a rather roundabout business to buy these figs at Twistevant's when I know they have been plucked in the garden here.

  Godiva 'Diva' Plaistow : But surely Elizabeth includes garden produce!

  Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : Oh no, dear, just flowers for the house. She sells the fruit and vegetables to Twistevant's.

  Godiva 'Diva' Plaistow : But I've let my house to her and included garden produce, because I thought she gave you hers!

  Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : No, dear, just flowers.

  Godiva 'Diva' Plaistow : So she's selling yours and eating mine.

• Emmeline 'Lucia' Lucas : My dear Elizabeth, I must beg of you not to call me "Lulu". Such a dreadful abbreviation. How would you like to be called "Liblib" or something like that?