Mapp & Lucia (TV Series)

Lobster Pots (1985)

Denis Lill: Major Benjamin 'Benjy' Flint

Quotes 

• Major Benjamin Flint : For my part, a little Mozart goes a long way, particularly if it is a long way on a wet night.

• Major Benjamin Flint : What in heaven's name is that?

  'Quaint' Irene Coles : An embroidered cover for a hot-water bottle. Isn't it pretty?

  Major Benjamin Flint : Good God. Always knew the man was a milliner.

• Rev. Kenneth Bartlett : Didn't you see anything, Keith?

  Keith Godstone : Aye.

  'Quaint' Irene Coles : What exactly?

  Keith Godstone : Well at first, I thought I saw a kitchen table, arse over tittle - beggin' your pardon, ladies - upside down, with two females a-clingin' to it. With an arm round a leg apiece, and the other round each other.

  Major Benjamin Flint : Yes, yes, go on!

  Keith Godstone : Well, I knew it couldn't be that!

  'Quaint' Irene Coles : Heavens above!

  Rev. Kenneth Bartlett : What did you think it was?

  Keith Godstone : Sea serpents.

  Godiva Plaistow : Sea serpents?

  Keith Godstone : Aye, sea serpents a-frolickin'. Mind you, it did look mighty like a kitchen table.

  'Quaint' Irene Coles : Shades of Polonius!

• Major Benjamin Flint : And then there's Mallards to think about. Probably let it furnished, servants and all, what, ten guineas a week? Why not? She got fifteen last summer from the other poor corpse!