Married... with Children (TV Series)

A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket? (1993)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Your father will be home soon and he'll be looking for dinner. Tell him I hope he finds it. I'm just going over to Marcy's.

  Bud Bundy : But, Mom, you'll miss Dad's latest episode of "A fat woman came into the shoe store today."

  Peggy Bundy : Actually, I already know how it ends. He doesn't get the sale or a life.

• Al Bundy : Anyway, this woman comes in, and she is so fat, she actually has three smaller women orbiting around her. So I'm trying to force a pair of size 13 shoes on her Jurassic feet when she says to me that her husband just left her.

  Bud Bundy : [sarcastic]  Ah, the plot thins.

  Al Bundy : Pardon me, son. Let's hear about your day at work today.

  [Bud is silent] 

  Al Bundy : Hmm, that's interesting. So anyway, this fat woman is telling me about how her husband left her, and she reaches into her purse, moves aside the pastrami sub, and produces two $500 courtside tickets to tonight's All-Star charity basketball game.

  Bud Bundy : You mean the one to send over-privileged white kids to basketball camp? Hands Across The Suburbs? She gave you these tickets?

  Al Bundy : Sold them to me, son, for a dollar apiece, which I didn't have... and Peg, thank you for that... but which I was able to borrow at the mall fountain, and the... charity mint box. So Jerry Lewis can't afford Rip Taylor this Labor Day.

• Kelly Bundy : I'm going to the All-Star Game tonight.

  Bud Bundy : Wait a second. How did you get a ticket?

  Kelly Bundy : I don't need a ticket. I'm young, available, and I look like this.

• Peggy Bundy : Uh, Al, I think I wanna go to this game.

  Al Bundy : Uh, no, Peg, can't go. Uh, er, Achmed the doorman is going.

  Bud Bundy : Dad, Achmed can't make it. It's Silicon Madness Night at the Nudie Bar.

  Al Bundy , Jefferson D'Arcy : Tonight? Damn!