Married... with Children (TV Series)
I Want My Psycho Dad: Part 2 (1994)
Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy
Quotes
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Jefferson : Don't you wanna call home and make sure Peg and the kids are okay?
Al : Relax, Jefferson, nothing is going to happen.
News Reporter : [voice] Late word today from Chicago where a simple house party has spread like a virus. It is described as a Woodstock without the music. Police have been put on tactical alert... .
[the channel is changed to the porn channel]
Porn Actress : [voice] Oh Santa, I've been very, very bad.
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[the porn channel is on the TV]
Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Speaking of the Washington Monument... what is that?
Jefferson : Uh... C-SPAN is broadcasting the senate page tryouts.
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Al : Here we are, boys. City of brotherly love.
Jefferson : No, that's Philadelphia.
Al : Well, what's Washington?
Officer Dan : A team without a quarterback.
[Everyone snickers except Al]
Al : You guys are so cynical. Here we are in the capital of the greatest nation on the free earth, and you can't even appreciate...
[looks out the window]
Al : Everybody down!
[Everyone hits the floor as a burst of gunfire is heard, and one of the windows shatters]
Griff : Nice room you got us! Was the John Hinckley Arms booked?
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Peggy : I still say that you guys will never get into the Senate to make your case.
Al : We will so! Jefferson said he knows people in high places.
Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Jefferson knows jack!
[to Jefferson]
Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : When are you going to stop telling the buffoons these fanciful James Bond-ian tales of derring-do? You know, if you were half has creative with your job resume...
[two secret service agents enter]
Chopper : Good evening, Bullwinkle.
Jefferson : Hello, Chopper and Geronimo.
Geronimo : Long time no see.
Chopper : What's up?
Jefferson : Iraq, Iran, I married!
Geronimo : So, what time do you need the wake-up bird?
Jefferson : 0600 will be fine.
Chopper : Cool.
Geronimo : Over.
Jefferson : Out!
[the agents exit]
