- Al: You're going to tell me what the other half of those raisins were?
- Kelly Bundy: I can't, Daddy. The guys from the Atomic Energy Commission said mum's the word on this one.
- Al: Even if Kelly does leave, Bud'll still be here. And having only one kid around the house is like having only one noose around your neck.
- [Kelly describes her extravagant motorcycle stunt for her opening performance as "The Verminator."]
- Al: Pumpkin, exactly where did you learn to do stunts like that?
- Kelly Bundy: In your car, ditching the police.
- [looks around]
- Kelly Bundy: Where'd you learn to build a bunker like this?
- Al: In bed, ditching your mom.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: He's got four Aces! I win! I win!
- [Jefferson grabs Al and waltzes him through the living room]
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Oh God, I love you.
- Al: I hope those are chips in your pocket!
- [awkward pause]
- Jefferson D'Arcy: ...Mostly.
- [Al breaks loose]
- Kelly Bundy: The health inspector's closing down the diner for 2 days.
- Peggy: Well that's not so bad.
- Kelly Bundy: Then they're tearing it down. Can you believe it? I'm unemployed, and it's all because of those stupid raisin cookies.
- Al: The raisin cookies you were getting me for free every day?
- Kelly Bundy: Yeah. You know, it turns out that only half the raisins were actually raisins.
- Al: What was the other half?
- Kelly Bundy: Oh, believe me, Daddy, you do not want to know.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: [after seeing that Al has a winning hand, Jefferson excuses himself, walks out to the backyard, shuts the door, and shouts:] I'm going to Disneyland!