Married... with Children (TV Series)

Poppy's by the Tree: Part 2 (1987)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : You know, standing here with my loving family, I have a question: Why am I running *from* the axe?

• Al Bundy : Who could've cut our tires?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, well, let's see. Who do we know that's insane and has a sharp object?

  Kelly Bundy : Grandma?

• Bud Bundy : Dad, would this be a bad time to remind you we all voted for Hawaii?

  Al Bundy : You know, Bud, there's still an opening for someone to go upstairs and get our bags.

• Kelly Bundy : Uh, Dad?

  Al Bundy : Oh, what?

  Kelly Bundy : There's a phone behind you. You might want to share this with the police. I mean, just tell them that we're in this dump, and if you have the time, why don't you tell them that THERE'S A KILLER UPSTAIRS!

• Al Bundy : Someone tried to kill us in our room.

  The Sheriff : Oh, yeah. Must've been the guy who does that every five years.

  Peggy Bundy : That wasn't in the brochure, Al.

• The Sheriff : The storm washed the bridge out. That means the killer is stuck right here with us. Got him right where I want him. Well, might as well go back to bed now. Oh, if you folks see him again, just holler. I'll... try and find you.

  [the sheriff leaves] 

  Al Bundy : There goes the only man in town who can save us from the killer.

  [beat] 

  Al Bundy : We're dead.

• Al Bundy : All right, now, let's discuss what we know already. We're trapped by a killer, the phones are dead, and the sheriff couldn't catch an M&M in his mouth.

• Al Bundy : [to the sheriff, about Delbert]  Look, that guy's the killer. I know it, you know it, and them...

  [looks at the locals] 

  Al Bundy : Well, if Darwin was right, they'll know it in about a million years. Now, me? I'm taking my family and I'm going back to Chicago, where I die just a little each day.

• Bud Bundy : What happened, Dad?

  Al Bundy : Oh, I was a big hero. I caught the killer and the townspeople cheered and let him go 'cause he's a Delbert.

• [Al, Kelly, and Bud get ready to leave] 

  Kelly Bundy : Uh, Dad. I think we're missing something.

  Al Bundy : Well, leave it here. We'll have them send it to us.

  Kelly Bundy : It's Mom, Dad.

  Al Bundy : [pauses]  Oh, yeah. I was wondering why *I* was carrying the bags. Where'd she go?

  [a terrified Peggy is seen in another room, tied up, with a gag in her mouth, and the shadow of a man holding an axe is seen near her] 

• [Al has knocked out the killer. The townspeople are shocked after seeing who he is] 

  The Sheriff : Do you know who this man is, Bundy?

  Al Bundy : Yeah, he's the killer.

  The Sheriff : Yes, but he's also... The man who met Andy Griffith!