Married... with Children (TV Series)
So This Is How Sinatra Felt (1991)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Leona : I want my money back. These shoes you sold me are as useless to me as a comb is to you. I've only worn them once, and they split at the sides.
Al Bundy : Well, let me explain. See, it's... it's just like an elevator. There's a 2-ton weight limit on these shoes. What say I nail the soles directly to your feet? It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon.
Leona : You'll be hearing from my attorney!
Al Bundy : Is that the law offices of Haagen and Dazs?
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Peggy Bundy : [after Bud and Kelly told her that Al ate muffins from a pretty woman, and Peggy thinks Al's cheating on her] Well, Al, you wanna explain yourself?
Al Bundy : Well, ahem, I left high school, and lost the will to live, and here I am.
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Peggy Bundy : Al, you can forget about having sex with me ever again.
Al Bundy : I already did.
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Al Bundy : [to his family] What if I said that I've come to grips with my job and I've come to appreciate what the three of you mean to my life?
Peggy Bundy : We'd say you were lying.
Al Bundy : And you'd be right!