Married... with Children (TV Series)

You Better Shop Around: Part 1 (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al : Marcy, get I get in front of you? I only need to buy a stick of gum.

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Eat hot death, loser!

  Al : [looks at a magazine stand]  Oh, the National Enquirer. Look at this, "Steve Rhoades marries Cher."

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Where? Where?

• [the Bundys cut Marcie in line and won a 1,000,000th customer shopping spree] 

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : [to the check-out lady]  Hey! I was the next in line!

  Al Bundy : What are you complaining about? You still are.

• [Al has brought home a surplus air conditioner] 

  Peggy : Al, I thought you were going to one of those Korean stores. You know, to get one of those appliances that have names almost like products? Like our Frigid-door refrigerator, or RC-Hay TV.

  Al : Or my beauti-fool wife?

• [Al's wiring has blown out the neighborhood's transformer on the hottest day of the year] 

  Peggy : Oh, the whole neighborhood's gone dark!

  Al : Well, at least they don't know it's our fault.

  Neighbor : Bundy did this!

  Crowd : BUNDY! BUNDY! BUNDY!

  Kelly : God, where did they get the torches and the pitchforks so fast?

  Al : Shut up! Put your weight against the door, they're coming in!

• Al : Oh miss, I think you dropped something.

  Nibbles : Oh.

  [bends over, showing cleavage] 

  Nibbles : Thank you market dweller.

  Kelly Bundy : Dad? Dad? Daddy.

  Al : What?

  Kelly Bundy : Do you *want* anything?

  Al : Why, yes, I have a strange yearning for some melons...

  [sees Marcy] 

  Al : and a plucked chicken.

  Marcy D'Arcy : I thought I smelled shoes.

• Kelly Bundy : Is it just me or is it getting warmer in here?

  Al Bundy : That's just because I've got it on... Der low. Let's turn it up. Let's turn it up to... Blitzkrieg. There. What do you feel now?

  Peggy Bundy : Anger.

  Kelly Bundy : Disgust.

  Bud Bundy : Loathing.

  Peggy Bundy : Disappointment.

  Bud Bundy : Despair.

  Al Bundy : All right. I ll just ease this baby up to Der freezing my heinie off.

• Al : Kids, we're moving into the drug store down the street.

  Manager : Buy something, or you'll be moving into the County Jail.

  Al : OK. Peg. Checkbook.

  Manager : Cash only, Bundy, and I STILL want two forms of ID.

  Al : Family meeting. OK, give me all your money.

  [Peg and Kids give money to Al] 

  Al : Eighteen cents. When I asked you for money to buy a battery for the Kaiser you said you didn't have a dime.

  Peggy Bundy : No, we said we didn't give a DAMN.

• Al : I wonder what the poor people are doing today!