Midsomer Murders (TV Series)

The Maid in Splendour (2004)

Freddie Jones: Benbow

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  DCI Tom Barnaby : So Bella's *not* going to throw herself into Lake Splendour then.

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Huh.

  Benbow : What?

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Like, uh, what's-her-name.

  [nods at pub sign] 

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Jumping in the lake after her fiancé.

  Benbow : [laughs]  Who told you that?

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Michael Bannerman.

  Benbow : He was having you on. Girly never chucked herself into the lake. The old knight come back from the crusades. He goes straight to the manor, and there he sees *her* pleasuring his brother. So, he drags her from the bed, kills his brother stone dead, and then chucks girly into the lake.

  DCI Tom Barnaby : Now that's what I call a happy ending

• Benbow : No work clothes. Do all my drinking at The Cricketers in Badger's Drift.

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Lucky Badger's Drift.

  Benbow : Here, I hear Audrey Monday is going to prison. A terrible business.

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Yes, terrible. You're lucky you're not going with her, Benbow.

  Benbow : What do you mean?

  Sergeant Dan Scott : Squirreling away those cartridges. You had a bloody good idea where they came from, didn't you?

  Benbow : No, I never.

  Sergeant Dan Scott : You cross us in the future, old man, I'll fix you up good and proper.

  Benbow : All right, all right. Keep your hair on.

• [Stephen Bannerman is relishing the closure of the Maid in Splendour's bar in the snug] 

  Stephen Bannerman : You ever wonder why you lot are the only ones who use this bar? Because people come in, they see Worzel Gummidge here... an old dosser who smells like a badger's armpit...

  Benbow : Ooooohhh!

• DCI Tom Barnaby : What about you, Mr. Benbow? Did you know about it?

  Benbow : Me? No, no, no. I know about drinking in pubs. I don't know anything about selling them.

  DCI Tom Barnaby : I think you know what goes on in Midsomer Worthy better than anyone else.

• Sergeant Dan Scott : That looks like the old cottage in the woods.

  Benbow : Ah yes. Michael used to rent it; hunting parties and that, and picnics in the summer. It was a real village in them days.

  Sergeant Dan Scott : In the good old days.

  Benbow : Well, I suppose they was, yes. The trouble is no one tells you the time, do they?

• Benbow : No work clothes.