John Hudson: Joe Adonis Iris

Quotes 

• Andrew V. McMahon : [Sitting at his desk at the bank]  I take it you fully understand the terms on the receipt you signed, Mr. Iris?

  Joe Iris : Well, you see, I was in a hurry.

  Andrew V. McMahon : You agreed to reveal the source of this money only to Mrs. Iris. No one else. Your signature made this a legal document.

  Joe Iris : Brother! It sure gives you a funny feeling.

  Andrew V. McMahon : Tell anybody where you got this money and you cease to be a millionaire. Cash, all tangible assets, anything you have purchased, everything goes back to the donor.

  Joe Iris : Don't worry about me. I'm a clam.

  Andrew V. McMahon : Very well. I assume you need to cash this check and open an account?

  Joe Iris : Account?

  Andrew V. McMahon : If you will sign this card, please.

  Joe Iris : And who has the money?

  Andrew V. McMahon : Why, you, of course.

  Joe Iris : Where?

  Andrew V. McMahon : In our vault.

  Joe Iris : Where I can see it?

  Andrew V. McMahon : Mr. Iris, money in large amounts is seldom a visible thing.

  Joe Iris : Look, when I had a dime, it was where I could see it or feel it. That goes for the million dollars.

  Andrew V. McMahon : Mr. Iris, you have any concept of what a bundle this would make? Of how many safety deposit boxes you'd have to rent?

  Joe Iris : Are you telling me I can't afford it?

• Joe Iris : [Entering his house with police sirens blaring in the street below]  Julie?

  [He sees Anthony siting in an easy chair and instinctively reaches inside his jacket for a nonexistent gun] 

  Joe Iris : Look, Officer,

  [to Anthony] 

  Joe Iris : it was just a reflex action. I was startled.

  [Opens his jacket] 

  Joe Iris : You see, I'm not even healed.

  Michael Anthony : [Anthony, not in his usual good humor, clearly dislikes Iris]  You are Joseph Iris?

  Joe Iris : Yeah, Joe. Iris. It's like the flower.

  Michael Anthony : Joseph A. Iris?

  Joe Iris : Joseph A. Iris? Yeah, I know. It's good for a laugh. A for Adonis. You know how mothers are.

  Michael Anthony : [Opens his briefcase and withdraws a document]  Will you please sign this form?

  Joe Iris : [Suspicious]  Are you a new parole officer? What happened to Sgt. Dunn?

  Michael Anthony : I am not a policeman. I have a form for you to sign. It's a receipt for this

  [Anthony hands Iris an envelope] 

  Michael Anthony : Will you please read it?

  [Iris shoves the envelope into his jacket pocket without reading it] 

  Joe Iris : [Suspiciously]  I don't get this. Who let you in here? Where's Julie?

  Michael Anthony : Your wife stepped out to the delicatessen for a moment, I believe.

  [Police sirens continue to sound on the street outside] 

  Michael Anthony : Mr. Iris, I do need you to sign this.

  Joe Iris : Sure.

  [Signs] 

  Joe Iris : So long, Mister. I know you are in a hurry.

  [Guides Anthony towards the door] 

  Michael Anthony : Just a minute. Don't you want me to explain? Read this receipt. It's highly important.

  Joe Iris : Whatever it is, it can't get me into any more trouble than I am. Be seein' you.

  Michael Anthony : Very well. Good night.

  Joe Iris : Yeah, good night.

  [Iris hurries Anthony out of the door]