Mister Ed (TV Series)

Ed the Beachcomber (1962)

Mister Ed: Self

Quotes 

• Wilbur Post : [Ed's in his stable, wearing a beach hat, and sunglasses. He's got an easel, with a canvas on it, which he's painting - the paintbrush is his mouth, and Wilbur walks in]  Ed, what's going on here?

  Mister Ed : Just call me 'Ed, the beachcomber'.

• Wilbur Post : [Ed, 'the beachcomber' is explaining to WIlbur his current 'dilema']  What started all this? Those kids that were here, yesterday?

  Mister Ed : Yep, we're 'birds of a feather';

  [Ed recites Zelma's poem, keeping beat himself, tapping his hoof on the floor, in time] 

  Mister Ed : 'Rejected. Neglected. BEfuddled, Bemuddled'.

  Wilbur Post : What do you know? A 'beatnick horse'!

• Wilbur Post : What got you satrted on this painting 'kick', anyway?

  Mister Ed : It's therapy. To relieve my depression.

• Mister Ed : [No matter what Wilbur says to try and cheer Ed up, he's still in a funk]  I'm real down. Beat. Like, depressed.'Neglected

  [Ed starts tapping the beat with his hoof] 

  Mister Ed : Rejected. Befuddled, bemuddled.

• Mister Ed : Poem; 'Ode to Life;' Life is a feedbag, w/out any oats. A stable as empty and bare.I search for the hay, in an empty corral - but how can I find what's not there?'

  Wilbur Post : [Wilbur chuckles]  'Henry Horseworth Longfellow'

• Wilbur Post : Ed, I can tell by your attitude you're in no mood for a ride.So, I'll come back when you're feeling better.

  Mister Ed : That's right - reject me.

  Wilbur Post : I am not rejecting you!

  Mister Ed : Uh, holler, but, like, don't hit!

• Mister Ed : I don't have to stay where I'm not wanted. I belong with the outcasts. Where's my hat?

  [Ed grabs his hat, and leaves the stable - heading to the beach] 

• Wilbur Post : [Wilbur's looking for Ed on the beach,and finds him, sprawled on the sand with his hat and sunglasses on, under an umbrella]  Ed, what are youing out here? I don't like you running away from home. Why did you do it?

  Mister Ed : I'm extinct, Wilbur, Useless.

  Wilbur Post : Ed; remember this - anyone who is loved is never useless.

  Mister Ed : We-e-ll, then you really love me, huh!

  Wilbur Post : Well, of course I... Ed; you're like my own kid.

  Mister Ed : [Chuckles]  Then take me home, 'daddy'

  [grunts, and tands up] 

• Mister Ed : You want to hear a little poem I just made up?

  Wilbur Post : Ok

  Mister Ed : [Clears his throat]  Life is a feedbag, overflowing with oats - a bag that should never be shut. And a horse that would leave a sweet guy like you, must be some kind of a nut

  [Ed laughs] 

  Mister Ed : You like it?