- The Captain: Men, you've been found guilty of insubordination to a commanding officer, inspiring mutiny, and what is even worse: impersonating a parrot! Now, have you got anything to say before we execute sentence on you?
- Peter: Yes, I do, I'm innocent. I never impersonated a parrot in my life. I can't even do a good cow. Moo.
- The Captain: This man's leading a mutiny aboard my boat. And I wanna know who's helping him.
- Davy: Eh, would you be easier on him if you find the others?
- The Captain: No. He'll die just the same.
- Davy: We told you not to try it!
- Peter: We said singlehanded mutinies never work, stranger!
- The Captain: Stranger? I thought you came aboard with him?
- Davy: Him? Nah! We've never seen him before, we wouldn't hang around with long-haired weirdoes like that, would we?
- Peter: Dirty commie!
- The Captain: Who are these fools?
- Micky: The eh, new shipmates, sir.
- The Captain: Where did you get that long hair?
- Micky: Well, there's this little store on Sunset Strip...
- The Captain: Cut it off!
- Micky: No!
- Davy: No!
- Peter: No.
- Micky: We can't cut it, we'd lose our strength!
- The Captain: And who are you to tell me about naval law?
- Harry Hooker: His name is Jones, sir. Davy Jones.
- The Captain: Davy Jones? As in Davy Jones' Locker?
- Micky: Yeah, right! It's his great-great-grandfather, and when he turns 25, he inherits the locker!
- Davy: Hey, they're both crackers!
- Peter: What do you mean, crackers?
- Davy: Crazy, they're both crazy.
- Peter: Who? Who's crazy?
- Davy: The captain.
- Peter: Ah, come on!
- Davy: Honestly, he was asking advice from his parrot!
- Micky: Was the parrot charging him?
- Davy: No, no.
- Micky: Then the parrot's crackers, crazy.
- The Captain: Here's your swords and your pistols. Oh, and the lyrics to some of the better-known pirate songs. I just hope you men are tough enough for this job.
- Micky: Tough? Hahaha. Peter's so tough his nails get rusty!
- Davy: Heheheh heh. He's so tough, he loves the sight of blood, that he pours ketchup on everything he eats, even cornflakes.
- The Captain: Nobody mutinies on my ship!
- Horace the Parrot: What about those guys in '49?
- The Captain: Oh, shut up, Horace!