Quotes
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Fran : ["analyzing" Corbin Bernsen, the former star of L.A. Law] Well... I can tell you're not a lawyer...
Glen Mitchell : Why can't I be a lawyer?
Fran : Well, not in New York... maybe L.A.
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Fran : [dressed as a man] I can't stand a man who pretends to be something that he's not!
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Fran : [in grocery store, giving young Grace advice about how men shop] Everything you need to know about a man you can find right in his cart. If there's a box of Midol, keep moving. Corn pads means he lives with his mother, learned that the hard way. And if you see two guys with sweaters tied around their necks buying Pesto save yourself the pain.
Grace Sheffield : [pointing to the items in a passing male customer's cart] What about them?
Fran : [looks] Hmm, let's see. Cabbage, chili, refined beans. Ooh one dinner with him and you spend the rest of the night blaming the dog.
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Fran : [as Maggie enters kitchen] Maggie who does Miss Babcock hate more, me
[pointing to Niles]
Fran : or him?
Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield : [hesitating] Oh, god this is hard. She hates both your guts.
Fran : Yeah, but I make her nauseous.
Niles : I make her drink.
Margaret 'Maggie' Sheffield : Look, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings here, but I'd have to say she hates Niles more.
Niles : [excited] Yes! Still number one.
[Fran pouts]
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Brighton Sheffield : Oh no! I look like Snap!
Fran : Val once dated a boy who looked like Crackle.
[to Niles]
Fran : Unfortunately, he popped too soon.
