- Nash Bridges: I'm gonna tell you what - you round up even half the names on that list, that list that constable Jack Noon rounded up for you, they're likely to make you Prime Minister.
- Joe Dominguez: They might even give you a plaque.
- Sgt. McKay: Oh, oh a plaque - that's real funny. Let me tell you something: I know exactly what you guys are thinkin': you're thinkin' i'm just some dumb Canup from up north who doesn't know the first thing about the subtleties of a full-on hose job. Yeah. Well, I got news for you: I know exactly when I'm being hosed and I got new for you - I'm being hosed!
- Insp. Harvey Leek: What the hell is he doing?
- [as Jack climbs a tree]
- Joe Dominguez: I don't know, Harv', haven't you ever had the urge to climb a tree?
- Insp. Harvey Leek: Not lately, no.
- Joe Dominguez: Look, I want the truth - the whole truth; the real story, okay?
- Jack Noon: Okay, I'll tell you.
- Joe Dominguez: All right.
- Jack Noon: When I was four I went on a fishing trip with my parents. Man dad had his own plane. We ran into a storm. We crashed. My mom and dad died in the crash. I wouldn't have survived the first night unless they found me.
- Joe Dominguez: The La-LaFoote's?
- Jack Noon: No, no - LaFoote's come later. Canadian black mama bear. She took me in, kept me alive, she raised me as one of her own cubs. 'til the day they showed up.
- Joe Dominguez: Oh, who? Goldie Locks and Papa Bear?
- Jack Noon: The LaFoote's. They murdered my new mama and her cubs, they brought me back to civilization. If you want to call this civilized. Dumped me at a hardware store in Kamloops. I spent twenty-five years hunting down the LaFoote's. You wanna know what's driving me, joe? That's what's drivin' me.
- Joe Dominguez: That's, ah, quite a story.
- Jack Noon: Yep.
- Joe Dominguez: I had a similar experience.
- Jack Noon: Oh yeah?
- Joe Dominguez: Yeah. I was, ah, raised by a burrito.