- Insp. Harvey Leek: I'll break out the terrorist directory.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Yeah, well make sure you look under the really, really, really bad listings.
- Maria Renaldo: Ever donated sperm?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Wait a minute, wait a minute...
- Maria Renaldo: Are you my father?
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Well, did ya?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Did I what?
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Donate sperm.
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: I was going out with this girl; her name was Ellie Hunt. She was beautiful, she was smart, she could throw a curve ball.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Ah, killer credentials. Keep going.
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Well, she was involved with this experimental fertility program
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Huh, weren't we all?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Hey, I never slept with her, I just donated sperm, you know.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Oh, I get it: all thee the obligation with none of the fun, that sort of deal?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Yeah, well, what I figured is if I donated sperm professionally I might, ah, really get to donate sperm later, if you know what I mean.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Oh, ah, I, ah, I do and I'm fascinated. It's truly wonderful to see thee origins of Joe Dominguez logic, way back in its earliest form.
- Pepe: I didn't know you two were into chaps & spurs.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Um, Pepe, we're not...
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Ah, save your breath, man - don't confuse him.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Yeah, you're right.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Kiss my grits.
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Right here in the window?
- [walking up to a store window display]
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Well, I got an update on my sperm.
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Come again?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: No need to, they sold it.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Wait - they sold your sperm as an asset?
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Yeah? Very funny. Well, you know what that means, don't you?
- [as Nash laughs]
- Insp. Nash Bridges: I'm afraid to guess.
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: I mean, there could be hundreds of little Joe Dominguez's running around out there.
- Insp. Nash Bridges: Oh my God. Kind of makes that sheep cloning thing look like a non event.
- Insp. Harvey Leek: I had a dream last night.
- Insp. Evan Cortez: OH yeah?
- Insp. Harvey Leek: Guess it was more of a nightmare, really.
- Insp. Evan Cortez: Really, what about?
- Insp. Harvey Leek: You and Cassidy were stranded on this desert island.
- Insp. Evan Cortez: Now, how could that possibly be a nightmare?
- Insp. Harvey Leek: Wait, wait, I didn't get to the good part. You get rescued by a PT boat. Guess who's drivin'?
- Insp. Evan Cortez: Who?
- Insp. Harvey Leek: Ensign Nash Bridges; he's carrying a big ol' machete. He wasnt' carvin' coconuts, if you know what I mean.
- Pepe: Have you two ever considered a committment ceremony?
- [to Nash and Joe, at a wedding]
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: Ah, Pepe, you do know my wife, Inger?
- Pepe: You're so brave.
- [to Inger]
- Insp. Joe Dominguez: [to Vijay, who has just been found hiding in a laundry bin] Do you know you're hampering a police investigation?