- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [Bull's in a suggestible state. Mac urges Dan to finish Bull's hypnosis] Dan you better move it before Judge Wilbur comes back and snaps your head off.
- Dan Fielding: [laughs mockingly] Judge Wilbur. I wish someone would twist that old bag's head off.
- [Bull makes a strangulation gesture]
- Dan Fielding: Or better yet stuff her down the mail chute.
- [Bull nods and goes in search of Judge Wilbur]
- [in a holding cell]
- Chip Coderko: What're you in for?
- Dan Fielding: Uh, contempt of court. You?
- Chip Coderko: Oh, we're just in for a little terror-and-mayhem spree 'tween here and South Carolina.
- Dale Coderko: [jauntily] Eight robberies, six stolen cars, four kidnappings, and three mini marts... *burned to the ground*!
- Dan Fielding: [not realizing Bull has already won, Dan rushes onstage to issue the post-hypnotic phrase] Bull! "I want to be your love slave!"
- Chuck Fleck: Sir! Mr. Shannon just won! And we're on the air live, you pervert!
- Dan Fielding: [extreme close-up of Dan in a frenzy] Aaauuugghh!
- Bull Shannon: [introducing himself on "What Am I?"] I'm Bull Shannon. And I think I'm gonna vomit.
- Chuck Fleck: [in a cheerful host tone] Well, if you reach me, that's an extra hundred dollars.
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [Bull is not winning on the game show] Something's wrong. Why's he losing?
- Roz: 'Cause he's dumb as a doughnut, that's why.
- News Anchorwoman: Once again, State Assembly Candidate Dan Fielding has made potentially embarrassing statements on live television. When asked to explain his actions he had this to say.
- Dan Fielding: Well, I have pieced it together, and it seems I was kidnapped and drugged by... Soviet agents.
- Judge Wilbur: Why is my bailiff on a game show?
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: You see, this boy's club is gonna close down. And Bull's been helping out by being their basket, but they're out of money. And Bull could win, but it doesn't work to have Christine say "I want to be your love slave." That's why we need to get Dan out of jail.
- Judge Wilbur: ...Pour me one of whatever you're having.
- Christine Sullivan: Your Honor, my clients believe they lost unfairly. They both claim they had the correct answer to the question.
- Judge Wilbur: What question?
- Chuck Fleck: The bonus question! And here it is: "I am two feet long and I escape my attackers by expelling my organs! What am I?"
- Judge Wilbur: ...My ex-husband.
- Thomas Van Doren: The answer is obviously, "I am a gecko"!
- Charles Stempel: The answer is, "I am a snake"!
- Bull Shannon: Actually, it's a sea cucumber.
- Chuck Fleck: That's right!
- Charles Stempel: Are you sure?
- Bull Shannon: Oh, yeah. When it feels threatened, a sea cucumber responds by inverting itself and expelling its own organs into the water.
- Roz: And they make girls wear bathing caps.