The Odd Couple (TV Series)
Cleanliness is Next to Impossible (1974)
Richard Stahl: Dr. Bates
Quotes
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Dr. Bates : [Felix and Oscar are sitting in a psychiatrist's waiting room] Could you make me another cup of coffee? This coffee is too sweet.
Receptionist : Well, I made it the way I always do.
Dr. Bates : I know... but it's too sweet. It's ALWAYS too sweet.
Receptionist : Well, if you don't like the way I make the coffee, why don't you make it yourself?
Dr. Bates : I don't make it myself because it's not my JOB to make it myself. I already have a job.
[Pulls diploma off wall]
Dr. Bates : See? I'm a doctor.
Receptionist : Well, I have a job, too. I have to type.
Dr. Bates : Let me show you what I think of your typing.
[Pulls paper out of typewriter, crumples it]
Receptionist : Let me show YOU what I think of your diploma.
[Takes diploma from doctor, drops it in wastebasket]
Dr. Bates : [Quietly seething] You... walk funny.
Receptionist : YOU... are BALD.
[Doctor feebly strokes bald spot on head a few times, retreats from office, head down]
Receptionist : The doctor will see you now.
[Felix nods to Oscar, they both bolt from office]