- Barbara Cooper: [having trouble choosing her college major] The problem is there are so many things I could do.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Yeah, I had that problem in the Navy. I coulda been a signalman, electrician, machinist's mate. I finally decided I was gonna be a torpedo repairman.
- Barbara Cooper: Right. Why?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Well, I didn't figure there'd be too much to do do. How many torpedoes come back broken?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Barbara's really got a tough decision. I mean, nowadays, women can do practically anything they want.
- Ann Romano: Practically?
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Well, except maybe pope or a good bandleader.