- Frederick Thomas 'Fred' Kelly: Sometimes I wonder why I ever picked a job like this. I've got the home life of a coyote and the security of a paper canoe.
- James Addison Reavis - The Baron of Arizona aka Jack Morton: Some people get excited and do stupid things. I don't have that excuse. You take me, sir - I do stupid things without being excited at all.
- [to his horse as he makes calculations on a backboard]
- Frank 'Flip' Flippen: Two times two is four, two times three is six, two times... I don't think you're concentratin'. What's a matter? You want to be a horse all your life?