Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous

Quotes 

• Dunne : Mr. Bartokomous... I think it's rather obvious that you're an immigrant, so let's stop beating around the bush. Why did you come to America?

  Balki Bartokomous : Oh, because when I am a little small boy I dream to come to America, the land of the free, the home of the Braves... and my dream was to travel all over this land... from California to the New York Island... from the redwood forest to the gulf stream water. This land was made for you... and me.

  [pause] 

  Balki Bartokomous : And if I had a hammer...

• Balki Bartokomous : So... these are the Halls of Justice. Where are the Halls of Montezuma?

  Larry Appleton : They're in another building.

• Balki Bartokomous : We're gonna send you up the river without a poodle!

• Vince Lucas : I once had a guy named Lenny who delivered packages for me. He decided to sing. Now... Lenny's with the angels

  Balki Bartokomous : Lenny's a singing baseball player?

• Balki Bartokomous : The police says that he's involved in all kinds of illegal things. Gambling is just he tip of the ice cube.